You're worth it
by GreatestEscape
Summary: This story takes place six months after the season 5 finale. As life slowly returns to normal for Emma and her family, she is forced to deal with the consequences of her actions. She'd failed Regina, and in the process unintentionally hurt her. She wants to make things right between them. But at the same time, she has no clue if she'd waited too long to do so. SwanQueen.
1. Chapter 1

" **You're Worth It"**

 _This story takes place six months after the season 5 finale. As life slowly returned to normal for Emma and her family, she was forced to deal with the consequences of her actions. She had unintentionally hurt Regina. Again._

 _She needed to make things right between them. But at the same time, she had no clue if she had waited too long to do so._

 _I hope you'll like it._

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Chapter 1

Emma carefully opened the door and was grateful for the cool air blowing across her skin. She paused for a second, feeling a rush of nervousness, listening for any sounds. She heard nothing but the pounding of her own heart. For a moment, she felt guilty again, and angry because she felt guilty. She'd been a good girlfriend- loving Killian as best as she could. They'd had some good times together. But if she really thought hard about it, she'd always known in her heart that they weren't right for each other for the long haul.

She unconsciously held her breath as she quietly closed the door behind her. Crystalline puffs of steam were visible from her mouth as she zipped up her coat and stuffed her hands deep inside her pockets. Standing tall, her long blonde hair spilled over her shoulders, she stepped into the quiet. She descended the porch steps and hurried away from their house. Her own footsteps were the only sounds she could hear.

Once she was sure she was far enough from the house, she closed her eyes for a second and inhaled deeply, allowing the scents to fill her, flow through her. She held it for a long moment before exhaling with a drawn out sigh. She repeated this exercise, letting her mind wander, feeling the tension slowly drifting away.

She became accustomed to this routine for this past few months. She spent her nights out, walking around Storybrooke, with no destination in mind. She needed to get out of the house and clear her head. She needed air, needed to get away from _him_. No matter how much she loved Killian, she couldn't breathe with him this close, taking up her air.

She'd been asking herself the same questions every single night since things returned to normal around Storybrooke. _What's wrong with me? Why can't I just be happy? Why do I feel like he is suffocating me? How is that even possible? I do love him. I really do. Maybe not the same way he loves me, but I do love him! I've literally been to hell and back to save him._

But she couldn't help but wonder about the meaning of _true love_. It wasn't a matter of choice, but a given, something that her heart simply demanded. She felt it when she was in the presence of her family she never thought she would have. It had never been a choice at all, they touched her heart on a level no one else had accomplished before. Henry, Snow, David..

Her life did shake considerably then, prompting her to believe, that love had filled the part of her life where her sorrow had drained out. And it had scared the shit out of her. Maybe it was just the fact that she felt so weak, that she had to trust people around her. She wasn't used to doing that, hated feeling so vulnerable. It was a big leap of faith, but she was compelled to do this, it was never a matter of choice. They were meant to be together.

But she never felt that same level of connection with _him_. She chose to be with Killian, but her heart seemed reluctant to follow. She hated that thought, yet no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't shake the sick feeling in the bottom of her stomach. She'd tried so hard to love him the way he should be loved. She fought for him, tried everything, did everything, but it never seemed enough. Her heart simply wasn't in it. She'd even come to believe there was something missing inside her- the capacity to connect fully and love completely.

But at the same time, she knew that wasn't the case at all. Because she loved Henry more than anything. It was a love that went so deep it hurt, a connection between them that scared her to death. If it wasn't for him, she never would have known the joy of love, the wonder of things that she'd never understood until her son walked into her life. She would have lost out on so much without her family's love to save her.

She inhaled deeply and stretched her cramped muscles. She finally took notice of her surroundings, and found herself once again on the main road near the docks. Even when she didn't mean to, she always seemed to end up here. How many times in the last year had her feet carried her back here? But why here? What was so special about this place?

A memory flooded back to her- she could remember leaning against the railing as she watched Henry and Regina walk away from her. Even through her darkest hours, they were always there to lend a hand, to lend their heart. They believed the best in her, regardless of whether she deserved it.

She hesitated a moment before she started walking again. She chattered as a strong gust of wind tore through her coat as if she wasn't wearing one. She shivered and pulled the collar up as high to her face as she could get it. She glanced around the docks and caught a familiar silhouette from the corner of her eye. She stopped dead in her tracks and stood still for what seemed minutes, not moving, just staring. Her heart was racing, whether from exertion or the sudden wave of emotion she couldn't tell. She couldn't tell much of anything.

She hovered there a long while, her weight on her far leg, stuck between leaving and staying. All she knew was that she wasn't sure she could get from where she was to where she wanted to be. How could she explain to her why she'd been keeping her distance for the past few months? How could she justify her own behavior? That she hadn't been there for her when Regina really needed her?

Finally, her feet started moving on their own, in slow, hesitant steps. And all the while, her eyes never left the woman seated at a bench. Her heartrate elevated with every step closer that she drew. She watched Regina as a breeze took her dark hair and drew it back, her bright red scarf whipping in the wind. The brunette straightened her posture, looking both regal and vulnerable at the same time. Emma wondered what was going on inside her head. Was she thinking of Robin?

A fresh wave of guilt forced the breath from her lungs. She swallowed and her hands balled into fists inside her pockets. She realized that she had no idea what she was doing, but she needed to make things right between them. But at the same time, she had no clue if she had waited too long to do so.

She slowly approached the brunette, but with each step her stomach tightened into such a hard knot she could hardly breathe. She didn't even know whether her presence would be welcomed. She stopped a few steps away from the bench. She stood stock still, staring down at Regina, who seemed oblivious to her surroundings. Her dark eyes trained on something in the distance, her features unnaturally still.

Emma just stood there looking at her, her deep green eyes scanning Regina's face. A long moment passed before she straightened, took one more deep breath, and opened her mouth.

"Regina?" she said softly, careful not to startle the brunette. She flinched anyway. Another shiver ran through her body and she couldn't be sure if she was shivering from the cold or the nerves coursing through her.

Regina's head snapped up, and she levelled Emma with an emotional glare. She blinked, recollecting herself as if with difficulty. "Emma.." she gasped slightly, her brown eyes boring into the blonde's. Her dark hair blew across her face, and she brushed it away with her hand. She searched the blonde's face for a moment and took a breath as though to speak.

Emma shifted nervously on her feet as she tried to gauge Regina's expression, but the brunette wasn't revealing anything of what she was thinking. She simply stared at the blonde, her eyes void of emotion. Emma could feel the tension growing the longer the silence stretched between them, and somehow all her reasons, which had seemed so valid at the time, now appeared to be mere excuses. She gave a shaky sigh and tried to smile, but it felt weak.

Her attempted smile faded when Regina didn't return her smile, just stared at her with a distant expression she knew held no welcome. If she hadn't been sure before, she was now. She'd ruined things between them, and she only had herself to blame. Her mind screamed for her to run, something she had been doing for the last few months, but instead she stood and composed herself. She didn't want to leave. She missed her friend, she had been running too long, she had been away from her for too long. She had to trust their connection was strong, not fragile.

She caught the slight tremble of Regina's full lips, and Emma wished she could go back in time and fix it all. She could practically feel the wall between them, and it was that moment she fully realized what a huge mistake she'd made. She and Regina had been making progress. They'd been talking, really communicating. They'd even become friends over time.

She missed their playful banter, the sound of her laugh. But most importantly, she missed their friendship more than she'd admitted to anyone, even herself. Regina had opened herself up to her in a way she hadn't done with anybody for a long, long time. She had let her guard down with her. She recalled their conversation in New York. She had seen her hesitation, had seen vulnerability in those dark brown eyes, heard it in her voice. She had realized the magnitude and significance of that moment, almost feeling humbled that Regina had trust her with her story. Not only had she admitted her deepest fear, Regina had reached out to her, had allowed her to see her in a moment of vulnerability. She'd let her see her tears, she'd given Emma her trust.

And maybe that was the problem. She felt undeserving. She didn't deserve Regina's trust. If it wasn't for her, Robin would still be alive. She knew no one blamed her for any of it, but she blamed herself for allowing it to happen, told herself it was her fault. She'd promised Regina to help her find her happy ending, but instead she ruined everything. She should never have allowed them to come with her

She covered her shivers by rubbing her arms, when cold was the last thing she felt right then. She stared up at Regina again as the brunette watched her, her dark eyes flashing with something Emma had never seen before. Her throat felt painfully tight as she tried to search for the right words. She closed her eyes for just one second and bit her lip, just to be able to pretend that everything was going to be okay.

Trying to gather her composure, she took a deep breath, almost coughing as the icy air hit her lungs. She wasn't at all sure of what to say, how to say it, or even what she wanted to say.

"What are you doing here?" she heard herself ask before she'd even thought about it. She cringed at her own words. "I mean.. It's the middle of the night."

Regina blinked a few times, her lashes sweeping over those big brown eyes as if she were trying to refocus. Appearing caught off guard, her hands started to fidget in her lap. "I.." Her voice was low and husky, and it died away in her throat.

She looked down for what seemed like just a second but, when she looked up again, Emma noticed the change in her expression. Her brown eyes full of some emotion she couldn't quite read. "What are _you_ doing here?" Regina countered, her voice suddenly void of any emotion.

Emma watched the brunette's spine stiffen as she shifted in defensive mode. She knew exactly what Regina was doing but couldn't stop it, and she hated it. But most of all, she hated herself for allowing it to happen. She could almost see her walls growing around her with every passing second. She knew she'd put that look there, knew she'd hurt her.

She breathed out a long sigh and tried to ignore the pang inside her chest. Those walls were there for a reason; self-preservation. Regina had spent the last few months building up the protective walls around her heart to ensure she would never again feel the pain of losing someone she loved.

And she, though unintentionally, made things even more worse. How would she feel if the roles were reversed? Betrayed? Hurt? Abandoned? But she already knew the answer to that. She despised herself for her own behavior, and it confused her at the same time. She suffered from abandonment issues all her life, so how could she act the way she did? How could she allow her guilt and fears to override her good sense?

She didn't fool herself into believing that Regina loved her, but she'd reached beyond the wall she'd built around herself. She had seen into a part of the brunette that no one else had ever seen. And that had to mean something, right? She had to at least try to make things right. She wanted to _see_ her again. But she had no idea how to explain. Not only that, but she was also afraid to be near the brunette; she didn't trust herself now. What if, next time, she hurt her again?

 _No_. She had to try. She had to at least _try_ to make things right. She had to try to explain herself, in some way. If for no other reason so that Regina didn't hate her. Even if she never wanted to be friends again, she couldn't just leave things like this. And deep down, a part of her still dared to hope that maybe they could get over this.

"Do you mind if I…" she asked, her voice trailing off as she motioned to empty space beside Regina on the bench. She felt her hand tremble and pulled it away quickly.

Regina stared off into space for a minute before answering, "Suit yourself." Her jaw twitched, but otherwise she remained stoic.

Emma slowly lowered herself onto the bench beside the brunette and glanced at the ocean, feeling that uneasy tension in her stomach worsen. As hard as she tried to, she couldn't come up with words for a minute or two. But she needed something- anything- to break the heavy silence between them. From the corner of her eye, she caught the flash of Regina eyes, but the second she tried to meet her stare, she looked away again.

"Where's Henry?" she asked quietly, her voice soft but thankfully steady. But there was no response from the brunette. She just sat there, motionless, like stone. Another long silence stretched between them. Emma didn't expect an answer anymore but the sound of Regina's voice was a comfort. "He's asleep.." She sounded exhausted, in a strange, sad way.

Emma couldn't help but glance sideways at the brunette again. How did she manage to stay so cool and appear so calm? She was obviously hurting, and she was just as obvious in her desire not to show her pain. She flinched as Regina's voice sounded again, different now. "But please, do tell, Miss Swan.. To what do I owe the honor of your presence?"

Emma's stomach dropped at the brunette's sarcastic tone. Her green eyes widened, as Regina turned her face so she could look into her eyes. Her breath froze in her chest. She felt her courage dissolve. She looked at her with such sadness in her eyes, and as she watched, the sadness flashed into rage, then went calm again. But she had caught it, that moment of rage, and somehow from that she took some hope.

Regina was the first one to break their heavy stare and released a long sigh, her breath forming a cloud on the frigid winter air. Both women shivered as the icy cold wind swept past their faces. Still, it wasn't the cold wind that affected Emma but the chill of her exhausted nerves.

For the first time, she really looked down at Regina's gloved hands, and noticed that she was holding something. Her breath caught in the back of her throat as she recognized the piece of Robin's arrow that Roland had given the brunette. She bit her lip as a fresh wave of guilt swept over her. The guilt of Robin's dead had never left her for a single moment. It simply consumed her.

It wasn't fair. Regina had spent so many years working her ass off to redeem herself, hoping she'd be rewarded for her good work, only to lose her soulmate all over again. Paying a price that no one should ever have to pay. And if the fates could be any crueler to one person, Killian _was_ able to return to the land of the living, planting another thorn in her already lacerated heart.

And it was one of the main reasons that Emma could never bring herself to fully commit to Killian. How could she allow herself to be happy when Regina suffered every day because of what she'd done? Regina had lost the love of her life. Roland had lost his father. Baby Robin had lost her father.

She swallowed hard and squeezed her eyes shut. Her shoulders slumped with the weight of her immense sorrow, and it increased the vulnerability she always felt in the brunette's presence. For the last few months, she'd mostly avoided Regina and when she was in her company she only answered her questions and never instigated conversation. It made her feel horrible. She wanted to reach out to her but knew she couldn't. She was too consumed by guilt and remorse. And as the days and weeks went by, it became increasingly difficult to take that step.

The sea breeze chilled her face, and she realized it was wet with tears. Quickly, she wiped them away with the back of her trembling hands. She glanced at the brunette, and realized how much she cared for this woman, and that made her feel even more guilty.

Breathing slowly through her mouth, she gathered every ounce of courage she had, asking Regina the question she hadn't asked for several months. "H-How are you doing?"

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two**

 _Thank you for your reviews, follows & favorites! We'll continue where we left off.._

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Breathing slowly through her mouth, she gathered every ounce of courage she had, asking Regina the question she hadn't asked for several months. "H-How are you doing?"

Her voice sounded very small an strange even to herself. As soon as the words left her lips, she knew she had been holding them back for so long that they had been eating at her. She was more than nervous here; she was terrified. Terrified of her answer, and terrified of _not_ knowing her answer. She hunched slightly, half expecting the brunette to yell at her. But no matter how much she wanted to crawl into a hole and hide, she was going to see this conversation all the way through

She heard Regina's sharp intake of breath and watched her entire body stiffen and freeze for a moment. Then she slowly turned her face to the blonde, her brows furrowed deeply. She used one hand to keep the wind from blowing her hair around her face. Emma's heartbeat picked up as their gazes locked forcefully. She saw Regina's disbelief, her utter incredulity. And in that brief look she also saw the accusation in her eyes.

"Do you _really_ want to know, Emma?" Regina said coldly. She lifted her chin and stared challengingly at the blonde. Her expression made Emma squirm on the bench. "Are you sure you're up to it?"

Emma's eyes widened and she felt a wave of panic freeze her entire body. She looked up into Regina's blazing eyes, her bright red scarf whipping furiously in the wind. A barrier of uneasy silence arose between them as the brunette waited for her answer. She felt extremely uncomfortable now and could tell by the tension vibrating all around them that Regina felt the same way. A kind of tension she hadn't felt between them for a very long time.

In her dark eyes she saw layers of suspicion, the legacy of years of broken trust. Her strong, solid jaw was set at an uncompromising angle and made the brunette look hard. And now that she was on the receiving end, once again, Emma definitely didn't like how it felt. She felt defenseless. Where was her fighting spirit?

Her lips parted but no words came out. A muscle jumped in her jaw as Regina studied her and those hazel eyes narrowed. She tried even harder and in her mind she thought she was screaming, but in truth her words had no sound.

Regina shook her head and looked away, but not before Emma saw a flash of hurt in her eyes. She was trying so hard not to say the wrong thing, not to make things between them any worse than they already were. But she knew she was failing miserably. She couldn't control her emotions. Her heart was racing like she'd run a mile, and her throat hurt, and her mouth was so dry it made it impossible for her to speak.

"That's what I thought," Regina said flatly. Her words were cold and harsh. She made a sudden movement, as if to get up from the bench, but she pressed her lips together and remained seated. She gazed at the blonde for a long time before she spoke again. When she did, there was no accusation in her voice. It was a simple, soft spoken question. "Do you even _care_?"

Emma's hands shook and her chest felt so tight she could barely take a breath. She clamped her teeth together and her lips trembled with the effort to hold it together. Her eyes were wide when she looked back to Regina, seeing the sudden vulnerability flash across her face. She looked scared, almost like she was holding her breath.

"Yes," she finally choked out, hoping Regina would see the truth in her eyes. She curled her fingers into the palms of her hands to keep herself from reaching out. "I _do_ care for you, Regina. Of course I do.."

Regina stared at her a moment more, as if she was looking for something, her expression unreadable. And for a few agonizing seconds, Emma thought she might leave her. But then she nodded once and sat back against the bench. Emma, almost unconsciously, breathed a sigh of relief. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, and rested her head in her hands.

She sat like that for a long while before a soft voice cut through her tangled thoughts. "It's not your fault.."

For a few seconds, Emma wasn't sure if she'd heard her right, but when their eyes locked she knew Regina had spoken the words aloud. Her green eyes widened and she sucked in a sharp breath. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth as if fighting her response. Regina's gaze was so intense that she had to look away, choking on a sob she couldn't hold back.

"I don't blame you, Emma.." Regina continued quietly, her voice warm and genuine. "So please, stop blaming yourself for what happened."

Emma raised her eyes to the brunette's again, slightly unfocused, heartbreakingly sad. The corners of her mouth drooped slightly, and her forehead scrunched up. Those words confused the hell out of her.

"Why don't you blame me?" she asked, and her voice sounded high and unfamiliar. A few moments passed while they remained staring at each other. Then Regina replied, "Because I don't want you to hurt like that."

Emma's heart didn't skip a beat this time- It stopped beating all together. But before she could respond, Regina spoke again. "But that doesn't make it right. Because whatever your problem is with me, Emma, you have no right to treat me like this."

They held each other's gaze without speaking, without moving, for three heartbeats. And then Emma nodded and looked down, feeling more ashamed than she ever had in her life. She was crying silently, but the tears were flowing freely. She let out a long, shaky breath and shook her head. She looked completely humiliated and awkwardly wiped her tears on her sleeve.

"I-I'm _so_ sorry, Regina.. I don't even know what to say.." Her voice trembled. She tucked her chin to her chest, and her hair fell like a curtain of silk, shielding her face from the brunette's view. She curled her hands around the edge of the bench, letting the corners bite into her skin. It kept her grounded. The familiar headache took up its pulsing rhythm behind her eyes as she pressed them closed. "I'm so sorry for all of this. I should have been there for you, and I wasn't."

Regina shifted on the bench as she stared off into the ocean, her jaw set. For a moment her eyes filled with tears, but she blinked them back. "Yes, you should have been there. I really thought we were friends. But I guess I was wrong.."

Emma lifted her head again, and blinked up at the brunette, her eyes glittering in the moonlight. "No! You weren't wrong.. I never meant to-"

"What?" Regina interrupted, her eyes flashing violently. "Hurt me? Well, you did! You did hurt me." she said, while she desperately tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall.

Emma flinched at the brunette's words, and there was no mistaking the look of hurt in her eyes. Her stomach clenched painfully. "The last thing I wanted was to hurt you." she said softly, her words coated with so much regret.

But Regina was having none of that. "You know, I blamed myself for it." she started, and Emma looked back at her. "I thought I scared you away. Perhaps, I revealed too much of myself, spoke too frankly. I thought I didn't have the right skills. People have trouble understanding me, and I guess I'm not a great socializer. I never had any friends that I could talk to, to be friends with, so this was all new to me. But I thought you were different. I thought you'd understand me."

She pinned the blonde with her gaze. Emma watched emotions play across her expressive face as her dark eyes studied her intently. Regina seemed to surprise even herself when she spoke again, "I wanted to approach you so many times, but whenever the opportunity presented itself, you were gone already. I wanted to ask you: _Was it was something I did? Did I do something wrong?_ Because I thought we had something pretty good going.."

A gust of wind blew her straight dark hair into her face, and she paused to wipe the strand aside. She breathed deeply before she continued, "I wish you would have told me what it was, but you shut me out. You couldn't trust me enough to tell me?" It was a statement, not a question.

The skin of Emma's face looked as bloodless as marble; a platina of pain clouded her gaze. Regina either didn't notice or chose to ignore it. "I blamed myself, but I decided a little while ago that I don't have any control over what people do. People have the freedom to make their own decisions and choose their own behavior, even if it means hurting another person without the intention of doing so."

Clenching her teeth to hold back the tears, Emma closed her eyes and turned her head away, so destroyed that she couldn't meet the brunette's gaze. Regina's words cut deep into her heart. If she'd though the pain unbearable before, she now bled pure grief.

Grasping her gently by the jaw, Regina forced her face up, and for one split second, Emma thought she was going to strangle her. Tears slipping down her face, she tried to twist away, but Regina wouldn't let her. She opened her eyes to see the brunette's face mere inches from her own. "Don't you dare, miss Swan! Don't you dare shut me out again.."

Emma gasped, looking into the beautiful brown eyes so close to her own. Slowly she nodded. A strange shiver ran through her. She felt quite incapable of movement. Regina carefully let go of her jaw as Emma looked helplessly into her face.

The brunette hesitated briefly and seemed to consider her next words. "I finally feel like I'm really in control of my own life now. I can breathe again like that little girl riding her horse. I'm free at last, although grief refuses to be controlled." Emma listened with breathless attention, her eyes never leaving Regina's face for a moment.

"But what great is that I got through those moments, I spoke up, and I learned how to deal with my emotions." She gave Emma a pointed look. "Zelena, and- I can't believe I'm even saying this out loud- _Snow_.. They showed me friendship and gave me comfort.."

Emma's throat constricted and tears spilled from her eyes. She realized that she not only felt devastated, she also felt relieved. Relieved that Regina didn't went through it alone. That others provided her with comfort and strength she hadn't been able to give her. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Regina watched her intently for a few seconds before she whispered, "But somehow, I always thought it would be you.."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three**

 _Thanks again for all your support! Here's another chapter. It's rather small, but I hope you'll like it anyway._

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Regina watched her intently for a few seconds before she whispered, "But somehow, I always thought it would be you.." Her dark eyes were shining with unshed tears. She looked utterly broken, and breathtakingly beautiful. Her expression was so raw, so unguarded, Emma had to look away. Her entire body became numb and so cold she feared she'd never feel warm again. She bit her lip and in the silence heard her own breathing, rapid and uneven.

The power of them, the emotion and vulnerability in those words, hit her full force straight in her heart. She knew what those words meant to the brunette, what it meant she'd even said them. Regina had believed in her, she had believed in _them_. She never let anyone get too close, and yet she'd let Emma in far more than either of them had realized at the time.

Until this very moment, she'd never been fully aware of just how much she meant to the brunette or how much they meant to each other. She felt it in every fiber of her being. She couldn't say when it had begun- only that it was there and always would be. Their connection was a precious gift to be treasured and protected. No one understood her the way Regina did. She knew how to push her buttons and she knew how to break down her walls and get inside. Sometimes the brunette seemed to know her better than she knew herself. How could she have been so blind? What if she'd damaged their friendship beyond repair?

Ice-cold fear ran through her veins, causing her body to shudder involuntary. She was terrified that she'd lose her, terrified that all the things she'd taken for granted would be gone forever. The very thought alone nearly drove her to her knees in despair. She couldn't go back to the emptiness she had lived in, before Henry had come along.

Yes, it would be different this time, surrounded by her family. But there had always been something missing. It simply wasn't enough. Not anymore. Regina had become such a huge part of her life she couldn't imagine being without her. These past few months had taken such a toll on Emma, that she hardly knew who she was anymore.

Looking up at Regina from under her lashes, she choked out quietly, "I broke it, this thing between us, didn't I?" A stubborn tear leaked from her eye again, but she was too caught up in the moment to even care. There was nothing more to lose. Maybe she even wanted Regina to see her like this, so she could see how much she cared.

But the brunette didn't look at her, almost as if she were giving Emma time to recover. And the thoughtfulness of the gesture wasn't lost on her. It was as if their souls were reaching out to one another, craving that unique connection between them. It was one of the things Emma loved most about their friendship; their ability to communicate with no discussion, only looks and gestures.

It sparked hope inside her chest, because she still felt it, that sizzling crackle of heat that simmered between them. It was as if she could reach between them, she'd see a sparkle of electricity, that invisible, violet thread that still bound them.

She dared another glimpse at the brunette, ignoring the strange sensation in the pit of her stomach. She focused on her breathing, following each breath in and out of her nostrils. With each breath she took in, she filled her body with strength and determination.

After nearly a minute she collected herself and whispered, "I'm so sorry.." She waited until their eyes met before she continued, her gaze earnest and sincere. "You have no idea how sorry I am. I wish I could turn back time. I wish I hadn't done what I did. Regina, you have to believe me, I never wanted to stay away from you."

Regina blinked her brown eyes, leaning slightly towards her. "Then why did you?" Her voice was soft, but there was no mistaking the hint of challenge in the words.

"I.." Emma started, but then the words caught in her throat. She stared helplessly at Regina, willing her to read her mind and know what she was thinking, but she just sighed and looked away. She swallowed back the lump in her throat and turned to stare at the ocean. But when the brunette spoke again, Emma was surprised to find that she somehow had succeeded.

"You must stop hiding behind your wall of guilt. You can run from me all you want, but you can't hide. I know you, Emma." Regina said quietly, looking back at the blonde. "I know that you are hurting. And I know that if you could have changed things, you would have. But you had no right to push me away like that. After all that we've been through, didn't you know that I'd stand with you?"

Emma stared up into the brunette's face and saw her fear reflected in Regina's dark eyes. "Yes, I _did_ know that. That's why I did it! Damn it, Regina, don't you understand you always end up getting hurt when you're around me?"

Regina's brows shot up and her eyes widened. She seemed taken aback by that. Then she regained her composure and shook her head slightly. The wind blew a strand of hair across her eyes, and she brushed it away before dropping both her hands into her lap. "You're wrong, Emma. You hurt me by _not_ being around me.." she said hoarsely, pinning the blonde with her intense gaze.

Emma flinched and made a sound at the back of her throat. She braced herself for the inevitable stab of pain and slowly sat up, her body stiff with cold. She looked back into the depths of Regina's eyes and spoke in a quavering voice barely above a whisper, "I really fucked up, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did…" Regina instantly countered, but her expression appeared conflicted. She remained quiet for a moment and Emma held her breath. "But still, I'm not quite ready for this _thing_ between us to end. I want to forgive you, but I can't right now. I do know that I _want_ it to happen. I want to find a way to trust you again.."

Emma squeezed her eyes shut and a fresh wave of tears streamed down her cheeks. Regina raised her left hand slowly; then she seemed to stop herself and pulled back. She shook her head, a confused look on her face. She cleared her throat. "Look, I know this is hard on you, too. And I'm not trying to punish you." She said the last part more softly, and Emma could tell she really meant it. "You gave me a second chance, Emma, and I'm giving you one as well."

She slowly opened her eyes to see Regina staring at her. Their gazes locked, and her nerves endings sizzled at the deep intensity of the brunette's eyes. Her heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, the rest of the world faded away. She watched as the moonlight weaved its way across Regina's skin, caressing it softly.

But, oh, those eyes. Those eyes drew her in, promising things she couldn't even comprehend. Those eyes that looked at her like no one had ever done before, as if she really _saw_ her. It was another one of the things she had taken for granted, but now seemed like the most priceless of treasures.

She blinked and refocused on the brunette, and the expression on Regina's face made her want to cry. She braced herself mentally for what she might say. Then finally, Regina spoke again in her deep, throaty voice. "But when you hurt me, that gave me the message that you don't care about me. That I wasn't worth your caring about me. I just need some time to process all of this. I don't trust easily. You know that.."

Slowly, Emma nodded, despite the fact that her eyes were still large with fear. "Do you trust me?" Regina asked so quietly, Emma almost missed her words. "Yes," she answered without hesitation. Unconsciously she moved closer, twisting her body to face the brunette more fully.

Regina flashed her a hint of a smile and said in a stronger voice, "Then trust me, Emma.." She paused for a moment, staring deep into the blonde's eyes. "It's going to take some time to build up that trust again. But just hang in there with me.. That will tell me that you _do_ care, and that means everything to me."

Emma wanted to cry, whether from pain or relief, but she bit her lip so she wouldn't. She struggled to control her emotions, and she couldn't keep another tear from trickling down her cheek. "I can do that.." she whispered, keeping herself from reaching out to the brunette. "I want to make things right between us. I don't care how long it takes."

She just wished she knew how to make it go faster.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Part Four**

Nearly three days had gone by since her talk with Regina and Emma hadn't seen or heard from her since. From feeling wonderfully happy for a few moments when the brunette had admitted that she wanted her in her life, she had plunged into a state of sheer misery soon afterwards.

She hadn't expected the emotional impact to hit her this way. Because thinking about seeing her again wasn't the same as actually _seeing_ her again. She tried to block out the intense way Regina had looked at her that night and the way she'd made her feel. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't think of anything else. Just being close to her again.. well, made her feel alive again.

But, once home again, she slipped back into the darkness, into the hollow life that she had been living. And once again, Killian had to endure her sudden mood swings.

For the last few months her emotions had been all over the place. She knew she hadn't been easy to live with but Killian had been incredibly patient when she had withdrawn from him. On the bad days, the days when she felt she didn't love him at all, she'd wanted to push him away. She'd wanted to scream at him to leave her alone, to tell him that Regina would not have been hurt if she hadn't tried to save him. She had known even in her distress how unfair and irrational she was being, but she hadn't been able to control her thoughts and emotions. So instead, she'd kept them closed off. She had shut him out when she got angry with him, herself or life in general.

And then there had been the sad times when all she could do was cry. Right now was one of those moments. She felt torn and confused and restless. She knew she couldn't just sit around waiting for something better to happen. She was tired of not being able to be herself, of hiding her emotions. A part of her wanted to call Regina or text her, to ask her if she was alright. But she knew she needed to respect the brunette's wishes, to give her time to figure things out.

She squeezed her phone tight to her chest, the plastic creaking ominously under her grip. Her eyes burned, and she thought she was going to be sick for a moment. She wanted to scream, smash things, and get drunk, but with Killian around, she couldn't really do any of those things. But she couldn't stay here, in this deadly silent house, in the darkness of their bedroom. She felt as though she would suffocate if she stayed inside another second.

She flung aside the thin sheet, put on her clothes, and walked quietly through the dark house. Suddenly energized by an idea, she quickly made her way down the stairs, grabbed her keys, and pulled out of the driveway in seconds flat, hoping that she'd be long gone by the time Killian noticed that she'd left him again.

She rolled down the window, letting the fresh night air pour into the car, and cranked the volume on the radio, feeling some of the tension ease out of her with the rumbling of the beetle's engine. She took a slight detour along the way, passing the narrow street that led to Mifflin Road, and lowered her speed when the elegant white mansion came into sight. Her heartrate picked up speed as her eyes searched the place for the one thing she wanted to see most. The only set of eyes that would be able to calm her hyperactive nerves. She stuck her head through the open window, but all she could see was the darkness. _Nothing but darkness_ , she thought, _just like my life._

She fought to keep herself from hitting the breaks, telling herself over and over again that she needed to keep her distance. But they had already spent too much time apart. Somedays she'd missed Regina so much she couldn't breathe. She'd missed her so much that it overwhelmed her; obliterating everything else. Her ability to think, to breathe, to exist. Gone. Because _she_ was gone. Because she hadn't fought for the brunette. She hadn't fought for _them_.

But this time, she vowed she _would_ fight, although she was unsure how to proceed. She had no idea what to expect now… Or what was expected of her. She wasn't sure whether to just back off and give Regina space or to try to step in and be there for her. She would never gain the brunette's trust if she wasn't around. But at the same time, she was terrified to mess things up again.

But one thing she _did_ know for sure: She needed to do something, _anything_ , to make Regina realize that this time she wasn't going to hurt her. But dammit, how would she ever be able to accomplish her goal when she bolted like a frightened deer whenever the brunette breached issues that needed to be discussed in order for them to move forward?

She closed her eyes for a second and ran her fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp. She needed to come to terms with what happened and, even more importantly, she needed to come to terms with herself. She knew it was time to stop running from her past, yet she'd been doing it for so long she didn't know if she knew how to stop. But she had no choice now. She would do anything, _anything at all_ , to keep Regina in her life.

She had to concentrate on the _now_ ; she had to find a way to _live_ in the now. She needed to take responsibility for her own life. She needed to deal with the things that she had done in the past, learn to forgive herself, and reclaim control over her own life. For the first time in ages, she wanted to move forward. Although it scared her to death, she wanted to know what came next, what the future held.

She wove her way through Storybrooke for several miles, letting her brain work while the hum of the engine, the cool night air, and the music calmed her. With her hands wrapped around the wheel, she felt more like herself than she had in days.

* * *

 _Twenty minutes later_

She switched on her flashlight and stepped away from her bug. She glanced around the lonely area just once, ensuring she was completely alone. The mud splashed her jeans and she ignored the cold that cut through her clothing as she followed the path into the night. She held onto the flashlight as if it were a lifeline. She was glad that she had recently changed the batteries. During the day, she could wander aimlessly for hours without getting lost, but at night, the trees seemed so foreign and imposing, strangers in de dark. Her grip tightened until the flashlight began to shiver.

As she walked, she started to feel a tingling sensation on the back of her neck, like someone was watching her. She stopped and looked around. The trees looked almost ghostlike as the beam from her flashlight swept over them. She squinted into the darkness. This place was seriously creeping her out. What had she been thinking, coming over here in the middle of the freaking night?!

The sharp sound of a twig snapping behind her made her almost jump out of her skin. She spun around. Her knuckles turned white as she tightened her grip on her flashlight.

"Is anyone there?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. There was no response. She ran her free hand through her hair and forced herself to laugh. Surely she was just imagining things. It was just a squirrel or something. She turned and started walking again, determined to calm down and stop jumping at nothing.

She found her way along and breathed a sigh of relief when she found what she'd been looking for. Trembles ran down her arm as she directed the flashlight beam on the ground in front of her. A choked sob escaped her and she bit down hard on her lower lip. She concentrated on breathing. Deeply. Evenly.

Very slowly, she sank to her knees, then sat back on her heels. Her eyes filled with tears as she stared at the tombstone bathed in the light of the moon. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat, her gaze fixed on the inscription of his name. _Robin Hood_. The many beautiful flowers that covered his grave showed that he had many dear friends.

He was a good man- a bit stiff, but kind and gentle. Yet he and Emma had never really bonded. Maybe she'd never really given him a chance. Maybe he hadn't been around enough for them to be able to bond. He always seemed kind of distant to her. Just out of her reach. Beyond her understanding. She sensed the restlessness lingering behind the shadows in his eyes. It troubled her. Because Regina needed some steadiness in her life, and she hadn't been sure whether Robin was able to break his bonds.

Robin was a child of the forest, surrounded by his Merry Men. She doubted whether any of them would be able to settle down in Storybrooke, or any town for that matter, leaving behind their beloved forest. And the alternative seemed even more improbable. Regina would never run off into the woods with Robin. She would never leave Henry, not for a second. Besides, she was used to the comfort and the luxury of bathroom facilities.

They had been a life apart in the way they lived their lives. She wondered, if the circumstances had been different, would Regina have chosen him anyway? It was a question she had asked herself many times and not had been able to answer satisfactorily. There were times when she thought they couldn't make it, not with the millions of problems they seemed to pass through. But they somehow overcame all of those obstacles.

She'd noticed the way Regina looked at him, the way she seemed more animated and confident in his company. There was no question that she had truly loved him. But still, she'd wondered if they truly belonged together. There was always something, _someone_ , blocking their path to happiness. And she couldn't help but resent Robin for hurting Regina in the past.

She understood the reason behind his actions, why he'd left town to save Marian. The man was too honorable for his own good. But she failed to understand why he chose to remain in New York; if he had even been fully aware of the ridiculousness of the situation. He could have been free, but he chose to stay behind bars to protect the woman who had betrayed him, who had carried his child.

She breathed in a sharp breath, shifting her weight from one heel to the other. "You're probably wondering what I'm doing here.." she said softly, glancing up again. "I- I just wanted to say I'm sorry.."

She let out a shaky breath and could feel the tears building and sliding down her cheeks. "I'm _so_ sorry for what happened to you. I'm so sorry for _everything_.. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. You weren't supposed to die.. to leave her on her own. You were supposed to make her _happy_!"

A sob escaped her control, and then another. Putting her hand on her stomach she let the tears come. She cried for Roland who had lost his father, for Regina, and for baby Robin. She cried for him as well. "I'm so sorry I got you killed.. So damned sorry you'll never know. I'm so sorry you will never have the chance to be with your family.. And I- I can't stop blaming myself for what happened that day. It's all my fault!" she cried out into the darkness.

"It's all my fault.." she repeated again, but she was whispering now. "But I won't make the same mistake again. You died a hero.. and I won't let your sacrifice go in vain, Robin." She paused for a moment, choosing her next words with care. "I promise that I'll take care of Regina.. And know I screwed up, there's no getting around it, but I _love_ her." She had no idea where those words came from, but they were true. She knew that. "And I will make it up to her, if she will let me.."

She inhaled a deep breath and released it slowly. She looked up at the sky and shivered. "And I- I'll be there for your daughter if she ever needs me.. I'll watch over them, I promise."

After a few minutes, she stood up, stretched out her trembling muscles, and stared down at the tombstone again. "But I also came here to thank you.." she said quietly. Her lip was trembling now, while tears rolled down her cheeks. "Thank you, Robin, for saving her life. Thank you for saving _my_ life. Because I honestly wouldn't know how to live without her."

She was completely unaware that just a few feet away, a pair of brown, watery eyes were watching her ever so closely.

* * *

 _Please let me know what you're thinking :)_

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Part Five**

 _Thank you so much for your reviews, follows and favorites! I love every single one of them. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. Please let me know what you think._

* * *

Regina felt the cool air brush against her face and took in a deep breath, inhaling the scents of damp earth after a fine rain. The only noise was the wind blowing gently through the trees ever so slightly rustling the leaves. Closing her eyes, she lingered on the sensation. Tipping her head back, her lips curled into a soft yet beautiful smile. She shivered as goosebumps erupted all over her body. She loved the trees, the way they whispered reassuringly at night, the way they stretched out and closed around her like friendly arms reaching to embrace. But most of all, she loved them because they reminded her of Robin.

The closer she came to his beloved forest, the more she felt his presence. At times, thinking of him.. just saying his name seemed so tangible; it was almost as if she could reach out with her eyes closed and actually touch him. Pretty much the way he seemed to touch her right now as the wind caressed her cheeks. A shiver ran down her spine. Even though she couldn't see him, she pictured him in her mind. She remembered his smile and the way he looked at her with those soulful, kind eyes. She remembered what it felt like to be in his arms. She remembered his touch as a gentle caress. He made her feel loved, and it was a feeling that didn't come easily to her. She also felt love; Robin showed his love for her as often as he could, and as time had gone on, she felt herself growing that love as well.

She remembered their last night together, the way he had held her close, the way they had burrowed into each other, skin against skin, breath against breath, not wanting to separate, not for a moment. But then her world collapsed around her. She found the love of her life, only to lose him all over again. She longed for one more day, one more word, one more kiss, one more touch. She had fought it, cursed it, and finally, after many months of constant grief, she'd made her peace with reality. But God, she missed him. She missed him terribly. She needed to talk to him. His death had left a void so vast it seemed it could never be filled.

She couldn't deal with losing him. She couldn't deal with the fact that he gave up his life to save hers. She blamed herself for losing him. Everyone she loved ended up getting hurt or dead. She wished she could have stopped it, could have saved him. But she knew there had never been a chance. And that made her even more furious- because once again her happy future had suddenly been ripped away from her without warning. She had been left so raw with pain she had barely been able to drag herself through each agonizing day.

But even though her life fell apart, she knew there was still something to live for. _Her family_.. Henry, Zelena and baby Robin. Emma. And even Snow and David.. They had been her only glimmer of hope in that very dark place she had found herself in. She wasn't alone anymore. She wouldn't have to walk this path alone. And it made her feel safe. Safe in way she never had felt in her life. She never, ever relied on anyone except herself. Physically, she didn't think she'd changed much in the last few years, but she had matured in other ways. She learned that she needed to trust people to be healthy. She learned that she possessed faith, and she learned to trust the power of that faith.

The first weeks after Robin's death had been very hard to bear. She'd made it through the funeral service and burial without crying much, but after things settled down in Storybrooke, all her grief hit her like a powerful weight. She had been crying for days and she'd locked herself away in her house. She'd just been lying in bed for three straight days, staring into space, thinking about everything. She hadn't eaten anything; she only had water. She wasn't just depressed. She was wallowing in it.

She had been trying to avoid her family, but they wouldn't leave her alone. Every day, they showed up at her house unannounced. She fought them, trying to drive them away, but they always came back. And one day she simply stopped trying, too tired to fight anymore. Then, slowly but steadily, she started to feel a little lighter.

She knew their timetable immediately and kept checking her watch to figure out who would be her next visitor. Zelena usually came in the mornings, Henry always came right after school and would never willingly leave her again. Snow, with or without David, usually visited her in the early evening. Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, but there was one person she'd expected to be there who wasn't. The one person she'd trusted above all others. _Emma._ She saw her standing in the doorway a few times picking up Henry, but she never came near her or tried to comfort her.

Eventually, even Snow stopped making excuses about her daughters continued absence. She simply never broached the subject again, and Regina was just too proud to ask. Or maybe she was just too afraid of getting hurt all over again. After all, she had been so sure she could count on Emma. But now, she wasn't all that sure of anything anymore.

The hollow weight of Emma's absence kept her awake more completely than her presence ever had. She missed her friend. She missed their talks, she missed laughing with her, she even missed their daily banter. Her disappointment was deep; she felt painfully let down, hurt, confused and alone. She wanted- no, _needed_ her support, her concern, her friendship. What did that mean? She didn't need anyone else. But she couldn't help feeling betrayed and more hurt than she knew it should.

What bothered her even more was the fact that she could not feel anger towards the blonde. She understood why her friend acted the way she did, but still she was very upset because she felt she had been cut off. She knew Emma blamed herself for what happened, though she didn't need to. And every time she reminded herself that she had every right to be furious with her, all she could see was the pain in those beautiful green eyes the last time she'd been able to look in them.

Emma was hurting and she knew it but there was nothing she could do about it. And somehow she knew the blonde was feeling exactly the same way. They were alike in so many ways that it was bound to affect her like a wounding. She also knew Emma still cared for her, seeing her hovering outside her house when she thought no one was watching her.

The sound of a distant snapping of a twig echoed through the cold air. Regina drew in a breath sharply and her eyes shot open. She blinked. Unaware of how long she had been standing here in the dark. She straightened her spine and squared her shoulders. She scanned around the trees, straining her eyes in the dark, looking for any sign, any shimmer of movement. But there was nothing.

Rolling her eyes, she exhaled a loud breath and made her way through the trees. Her heels sank into the soft ground and she cursed inwardly. She wished she was wearing her usual boots, but she wanted to look nice for Robin. If only he could see her.. What was she even thinking? Shaking her head, she wondered if she was losing her mind. She couldn't go on like this.

She visited his grave nearly every day since his passing, drawing some sort of peace and contentment out of these visits. It somehow made her feel connected to him, and she wasn't ready or willing to lose that connection. She would talk to him for hours about anything and everything, telling him how much she missed him and how much he had meant to her.

She had reveled in the solitude, in the sense that was all right in the world, a sense that only came when night had fallen and most of the world was asleep. She had taken every opportunity to be out after dark, alone and unhindered, sometimes simply walking through the forest surrounding the cemetery to experience the night. And she had deliberately avoided any escort, not wanting to have her private time in the woods disturbed. These were _his_ woods, _their_ woods, and no one had the right to intrude on her time here.

She deliberately avoided being anyplace where she could run into people cautiously eying her. She imagined them staring, and then pitying her. It made her furious. She didn't need anyone's pity. She hated anyone who talked around her as if she was incapable of hearing and understanding. She really hated the thought of anyone's pity.

Maybe that was the reason why she loved the darkness, the deepness of the cover. She no longer feared what the darkness would bring. Darkness had once brought her the most horrifying times of her life, but not anymore. She felt the same way about magic now. Magic had been used to hurt her, to control her while horrible things happened to her. But now she embraced her magic. She used her skills to do good things, and she had opened herself in a way she had always been afraid to do.

A gust of wind blew her hair in front of her face and she brushed it away, her eyes refocusing. Suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks at the sight in front of her. Her breath caught in her throat and she squeezed her eyes to see more clearly. She froze. Perfectly still, like a deer. "No", she whispered, her heartrate picking up speed. She blinked her eyes several times, almost not trusting her own eyes. But even in the darkness, she would recognize that silhouette anywhere. She stared wide-eyed at the woman sitting back on her heels in front of Robin's gravestone, her long, blond hair almost silver in the moonlight. A confusing mix of emotions flooded through her with such speed she couldn't sort them out. But once again, anger wasn't one of them.

She gasped and tried to force herself to breathe. Her feet were glued in place and she focused on the blonde so hard that she'd developed tunnel vision. Time slowed and her sensed heightened. She could hear her murmur, but couldn't make out what she was saying. She willed her feet to move forward and tried to stamp down the internal panic she felt. _What is she doing here? In the middle of the night? Is she talking to him?_

She had to come closer to her to hear what she was saying. She held her breath and tried not to make a sound, but she was sure that Emma could hear her heart, for it was beating so loud and seemed to disturb everything around her. She carefully moved closer, before Emma's voice cut through the silence, startling her. "It's all my fault!"

Her eyes widened, the blood drained from her face, and she could have sworn her heart stopped beating. She stared at the blonde with pain and sorrow battling in her chest. "It's all my fault.." Emma repeated again, but she was whispering now. Regina closed her eyes and focused on the blonde's voice, her hands trembling at her sides.

"But I won't make the same mistake again. You died a hero.. and I won't let your sacrifice go in vain, Robin. I promise that I'll take care of Regina.. And know I screwed up, there's no getting around it, but I _love_ her." Regina gasped quietly and she felt her heart swell with some unknown emotion. The quiet intensity of Emma's words touched her deeply and oddly pricked her at the same time. Then she felt wetness touch her cheek. Tears. It had to be tears. She didn't want to cry, not today. But the tears she'd suppressed for so long escaped her control and began streaming down her cheeks.

"And I will make it up to her, if she will let me.." Emma was quiet for a moment, and Regina slowly opened her eyes to look at her. Her heart was pounding in her ears. Her vision was blurry and she wiped her eyes in irritation. Suddenly she needed to see the blonde more than she needed to breathe. Emma tilted her head back, her blonde hair falling further down her back and over her shoulders. "And I- I'll be there for your daughter if she ever needs me.. I'll watch over them, I promise."

Emma's words had been barely above a whisper, but she'd heard them with her ears and her heart. Her hand flew to her mouth to muffle a sob. She was trying not to cry and kept swallowing, as if forcing back whatever emotions were threatening to choke her. She knew she shouldn't be eavesdropping, but she couldn't make herself stop. It was so good to hear her voice. She realized that she wanted- _no needed_ \- to hear the rest of what she had to say.

Standing up, Emma stretched her legs and shook off the stiffness. She raised her shoulders, moved her neck around in a circle. Regina could almost see the tension ebbing from the blonde's body. "But I also came here to thank you.." She held her breath, not wanting to miss a word. When Emma spoke again, she sounded more vulnerable than she'd ever heard her sound before. "Thank you, Robin, for saving her life. Thank you for saving _my_ life. Because I honestly wouldn't know how to live without her."

Regina felt the weight of Emma's words as she spoke them. She felt it in every fiber of her being. She seemed so brutally sincere, so ready to face her fears. She wasn't running any longer. She was trying to come at peace with herself, and she felt an odd sense of pride coursing through her system.

Suddenly, the true meaning of her words sank in, and the depth of Emma's feelings overwhelmed her. So many questions raised inside her mind. She felt her emotions were whirling out of control and that all her efforts to gain control were ineffective. So she did the only thing she could think of. She closed her eyes tight and disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke.

Seconds later, she materialized in her bedroom, her breath coming in low, deep pants. She clutched her chest and stumbled toward her bed. She sat down heavily and buried her face in her hands. Her body shook as she cried, and a long moment passed before she found the strength to sit back up and fight through her emotions.

She nearly jumped when her phone buzzed, indicating that she had a text. With shaking hands, she pulled the device out of her pocket and stared at the screen. _Emma_. Her heart skipped a beat. She stared at her phone for a long time, debating whether to read the text or not. Before long, the phone buzzed again. She bit her lip as curiosity took over. With her heart in her throat, she swiped her finger over the screen to read her texts.

 _Emma 03:12 AM: Regina?_

 _Emma 03:13 AM: It was you, wasn't it?_

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Part Six**

 _Thank you all for the amazing reviews! I can't get enough of them! :)_

 _I hope you'll enjoy today's chapter._

* * *

 _Emma 03:12 AM: Regina?_

 _Emma 03:13 AM: It was you, wasn't it?_

Regina's breath caught in her throat, and a surge of sheer panic coursed through her veins. She gripped the phone tighter with her trembling hands and forced calm, deep breaths into her lungs. Wide-eyed, she stared at the screen. Emma couldn't have seen her, right? She'd been so careful! She must have misread her message. She hesitated, then leaned slightly forward to read the words again. Her heart raced wildly in her chest, and then jumped to her throat. She could barely swallow. Did she… _yes_ ; the words were still the same. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and opened them again. The words were still there. "No," she choked out, repeating the word until it became a mantra.

But how? She wasn't supposed to know she'd been there. She hadn't made a sound, there was nothing that would reflect her image and the blonde hadn't turned around. She bit her lip and replayed the night again and again in her mind, searching for something that she'd done wrong, but she couldn't come up with anything. So how did she know? She scowled at the uncertainty flooding her chest. She hated feeling like this. Somehow she had to get a grip on her emotions before they went completely haywire.

She glanced down at her phone again, her thumbs hovering over the screen as she tried to convince herself to answer Emma's texts. But what the hell was she supposed to say now? Would she be angry with her for eavesdropping? Probably. If their roles had been reversed she would have been supremely pissed off. She knew it was wrong, but she wouldn't have done it any differently. Even though the words weren't meant for her ears, she wouldn't have missed them for the world.

Emma's words had shocked her. They had been so sincere, so warm, so filled with… _love_. They had rendered her speechless. They weren't the words she had expected to hear, and she hated how they made her heart speed up with hope. She felt breathless, off balance, unsure. And more convinced than before that they shared a deep connection. How else could Emma have known she'd been there?

She drew her hand across her chest, forcing air into her lungs, and got up from the bed. She knew she should be upfront and honest with her friend, but didn't want to risk losing her. She thought for a second to lie to her. Then what? But, no- she couldn't do that. Or maybe she could just pretend she was asleep and deal with all of this tomorrow? But the thought of deceiving Emma left a sour taste in her mouth so she took a shallow breath and sat back down again.

Her hand shook as she hit reply. Everything inside of her froze, and then she typed the word out slowly, one word that could change everything. _Yes.._ Her heart quickened a little more. She trembled, afraid to hit the send button. Almost lightheaded, she stopped before her finger pushed the button to send the message. Slowly, she deleted it.

She fought the impulse to throw her phone against the wall in terrified frustration. It wouldn't solve all her problems, but it would solve her most immediate one. She breathed out sharply and brushed her trembling hand through her hair. She wasn't at all sure of what to say, how to say it, or even what she wanted to say. She couldn't lie and yet she couldn't tell Emma the truth, either. Instead, she dodged the question all together.

 _Regina 03:19 AM: I'm surprised you still have my number._

She sent the message before she could change her mind, but instantly regretted it. What was wrong with her? Why the hell would she send something like that? Didn't she have enough pride in herself to resist falling back on her old habits? She gritted her teeth and shook her head. Before she could wallow any longer in her foolishness, her phone buzzed in her hand, and she was so surprised that she almost dropped it. Her pulse jumped. It buzzed again.

 _Emma 03:20 AM: You're number one on my speed dial, Regina._

 _Emma 03:20 AM: Why did you leave?_

Regina's breath hitched as she stared at the screen. She didn't know what to make of Emma's first text, but it was quickly forgotten once she read her second message. Her pulse quickened again. Now what? She worried her bottom lip between her teeth when her fingers started to type and realized her fingers were on all the wrong keys. But she wasn't able to stop herself. And she was horrified to find her finger pressing down on the send button.

 _Regina 03:21: I'm not in the mood for riddles, Miss Swan._

After she was finally able to control her muscles again, she snatched her hand back like she'd been burned. But the damage was already done. She squeezed her eyes shut, but it didn't make reality fade away. She felt confused and more than a little defensive. She was an awful person, horrendous. She just couldn't express herself like a normal person, she was way too complex, way too complicated. She just- Another buzz broke her out of the downward spiral her thoughts had taken.

She hadn't realized how worried she'd been about Emma's answer until she released the shaking breath she'd been holding. A wave of relief washed over her. Then a wave of guilt washed through her as she read the blonde's message.

 _Emma 03:22 AM: Regina, please.. I'm not in the mood for playing games either. Tell me please, just tell me if I just made things worse between us.._

"Idiot.." she mumbled quietly, and started typing again furiously. Oh, would Emma ever stop blaming herself for everything that happened around her? Would she ever stop carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders?

"How can you live like that?" she whispered to herself. There was almost admiration in her voice as she added, "How can you still stand so strong?"

 _Regina 03:23 AM: No, you didn't._

It wasn't long before she received another message.

 _Emma 03:23 AM: Are you sure? Because I feel like I just ruined one of the best relationships I've ever had._

Regina didn't know whether to feel flattered or offended. It terrified her to realize how much she cared about what Emma thought about her. Over the past few months, they had grown apart. But it was still there; the connection she felt for the blonde was alive and well inside her.

For sure, her emotional wounds were still raw. She hadn't fully forgiven Emma, she wasn't there just yet. But she _wanted_ to open her heart to their friendship, to give the blonde her trust again, and that was why she was afraid. It was safer not to take the risk; she couldn't take the chance of getting hurt again. But at the same time, she was fighting a battle she knew she couldn't win. And, if she was completely honest with herself, she didn't even _want_ to win.

First, however, she needed time to calm down and quiet her racing heart. Clearing her throat, she made a mental note to be on guard, for the time being at least. So she did what she did best and put up a wall. She instantly went into defense mode again.

 _Regina 03:24 AM: Relationship?_

 _Emma 03:24 AM: You know what I mean, Regina._

She could imagine Emma rolling her eyes and huffing in frustration as she typed. A hint of a smirk crossed her lips. But then her nerves took over again as her fingers hovered over the screen, and after a moment's hesitation she touched it.

 _Regina 03:25 AM: I do indeed. And yes, I'm quite sure._

She took a deep breath to steady herself, but it wasn't helping her at all. She was rocking backward and forward on the edge of her bed now, as well as tapping her feet nervously. It took Emma longer to answer than she would have liked.

 _Emma 03:27 AM: Look, I'm really sorry about tonight. I shouldn't have been there. I don't know how much you've heard.. but I'm okay with that. I should have told you all these things months ago. I'm so sorry for letting you down.._

Through her tears, Regina smiled as she read the words Emma had sent her. A sense of relief flooded through her as she realized her friend wasn't angry at all. She was a little surprised that Emma let her off the hook so easily when she'd just overheard her confess that she loved her. She hadn't expected the surge of confusion those words brought forth, nor the heat that had spread through her body until every nerve ending was on fire. But her emotions were all over the place, so she didn't put too much thought into it.

 _Regina 03:27 AM: It's okay, Emma._

Seconds later, her phone buzzed again.

 _Emma 03:27 AM: No, it's not okay. It's not even remotely okay._

 _Regina 03:28 AM: I'm not sure what you want me to say here.._

In the time waiting for the blonde to answer, she switched the phone to her other hand. She brushed her sweaty palm across the side of her pants. She stared down at her phone and unconsciously tapped her nail against its glass screen.

 _Emma 03:28 AM: You don't have to say anything. I know I don't deserve your trust, but I still want it._

Once again, she didn't know what to say or even how to respond to that. But within seconds, another text came through.

 _Emma 03:28 AM: You'd better prepare yourself, my dear Majesty, because I won't stop fighting until I get it back._

Regina's face broke into a broad, beautiful smile and her eyes sparkled brightly. It was exactly what she'd wanted to hear her friend say for so many months.

 _Regina 03:29 AM: I won't stop you, Miss Swan._

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Part Seven**

 _Here's another chapter :)_

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Gulping down the large lump of trepidation in her throat, Emma made her way toward the mansion. The nervous quivering in her stomach was almost unbearable. Still, somehow she managed to climb the step leading to the front door. She frowned at the shiny gold numbers 108 as if she'd never seen them before. She drew a deep breath, tucked a limp strand of hair behind her ear, smoothed her skirt once more, and puffed out a frightened sigh. Closing her eyes, she mentally willed herself to get it together. Raising a trembling hand, she knocked on the tall white door.

Her heart clattered against her breastbone, and she held her breath. Suddenly, graphic memories flooded her mind. She remembered all those times she'd been standing right here at this very same spot. And yet again- as always- her body buzzed with an energy that was unfamiliar and frightening. She had tried to ignore it at first, wished it didn't affect her so, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't ignore the way her body reacted every time the brunette was near. Those expressive brown eyes captivated her, commanded her attention, and drew her in like a magnet. Something that frightened her, yet beneath it was a spark of excitement. Regina was unlike anyone she'd ever met, and there was something about her that fascinated Emma to no end.

When there wasn't an answer after a minute, she knocked again, this time louder. She wasn't at first certain whether to be relieved or terrified when she then heard footsteps approaching from the other side of the door. The pace of her already rapidly beating heart quickened. Biting her lip, she buried her trembling hands deep into the pockets of her jeans. As the door swung open, a low, irritated grumble resonated out onto the cold early-winter breeze. Emma gulped again as she lifted her gaze to see a scowling, very annoyed looking redhead glaring down at her.

"My eyes must be deceiving me," Zelena feigned shock, blinking her bright blue eyes theatrically. An unamused smile curled the corner of her lips. Crossing her arms over her chest, she pinned the blonde with her stare. "Are you lost, _Swan_?" She didn't even try to hide the disdain in her voice.

Emma was so stunned by Zelena's appearance, any words or utterance were momentary lost to her. She had expected the woman to be defensive but the breadth of her hostility surprised her, and she wasn't at all prepared to deal with the redhead's mood.

"Or wait.." Zelena exclaimed, holding up her hands as if to ward off the blonde's answer. She moved closer and crowded into Emma's personal space. She circled around her, looking her up and down and grinning. "So you finally found your wings and flew over here?" She chuckled manically at her own joke.

Emma just stood there frozen with her mouth open a little, unable to comprehend what was happening. This wasn't going at all the way she'd planned. To be honest, she hadn't really had a plan. She'd headed for Regina's house and thought she'd just figure out the best approach once she got there. But she had never once considered the possibility of coming face to face with her sister.

She opened her mouth a little further, but no sound escaped her lips and her feet seemed rooted to the ground. Her discomfort only seemed to amuse the redhead more. She gave her a wicked, leering grin, full of arrogance and malicious satisfaction. Emma flinched from the woman's finger beneath her chin, effectively closing her mouth.

"And here I was thinking _swans_ were elegant creatures," the woman chuckled. Emma gasped, and turned her face away as her eyes slid closed. She felt humiliated and defenseless.

"Have you lost your tongue, my dear?" Zelena drawled in a beautiful, provocative voice. Taking a deep breath, Emma met the woman's dazzling eyes again, searching for something she couldn't find. Zelena wouldn't do her any favors; she wouldn't cut her any slack. She merely lifted her eyebrows, throwing her a challenging smile. "Well _darling_ , are we going to stand here all day like a pair of dummies? Why don't you speak?"

Emma's heart was racing, her breathing erratic and shallow. She needed to stall somehow- buy some time until she could figure out how to keep this crazy woman from scaring her away. Then miraculously, as if she'd heard her silent plea, Regina's deep voice came from behind her sister. "Zelena, enough.. Leave her alone."

With a ballerina's grace, the redhead turned around, the thick mass of her hair swirling with the movement. She looked up at her sister, a genuine smile stretching across her features.

"Oh, chill out, sis.. We were just having some fun!" she exclaimed sweetly before flashing the blonde a glance of amusement, not wholly without malice. "Right, Em-ma?"

But Emma either didn't hear the woman's words, or she chose to ignore them, as she lost herself in Regina's gaze. "Hi.." she choked out before offering the brunette an awkward smile. A tingling ran up her arms, down her legs to her toes, and her heart was beating so wildly she felt as if she couldn't catch her breath.

Regina studied her so intensely Emma felt every bad decision, every regret, every mistake she'd ever made bead up on her forehead. Because she was looking at her as though wishing beyond all wishes that she could find that one thing she needed to trust her again. And she hoped to God that the brunette found what she was looking for, because there was something about Regina that got to her, made her feel things she'd stopped feeling a long time ago. And she didn't want it to stop. She didn't want to go back to feeling hollow.

"Hello." Regina said softly, her eyes sparkling with something Emma couldn't even begin to pretend to read. They shared a tentative smile before Zelena squeezed herself into the space between them again. She switched her gaze between the two of them, effectively breaking the moment.

"I see you found your voice again," she said to the blonde, shooting her a glare that screamed _Don't you dare hurt her again_ , but keeping her words sickly sweet.

Emma blinked, and caught her unspoken words loud and clear. She pressed her lips together as she held the woman's stare. She nodded once and could only hope her eyes conveyed her sincerity. Zelena held her gaze, her chin still lifted, her shoulders thrown back, standing proud and defiant even though Emma knew she was afraid. Of her. Afraid that she would hurt her sister again.

She held her breath when Zelena leaned closer, her expression fierce, and whispered in her ear, "It took you long enough.."

"Zelena.." Regina warned again, taking a step forward, her eyes seeking Emma's. The redhead froze for just an instant, then she slowly leaned back. Pasting a smile on her face, she crossed her arms over her chest. "I think this is my cue to leave you two to it."

She shared a glance with her sister, who smiled a little as she walked passed her. "Ta-ta, my lovelies!" Zelena cheered, leaving both women to watch her leave. She didn't fail to add a little extra sway to her hips. Regina snorted, shaking her head at her sister.

Emma watched the brunette's animated features and found herself smiling. A warmth spread through her body. It felt pleasant, comforting. She wanted more. She took a tentative step towards Regina, not taking her eyes from her face. She took a deep breath and then reached towards her, placing her hand gently on the brunette's forearm.

Regina gasped and her eyes snapped down to the blonde's hand on her arm. Then she slowly lifted her head and instantly their eyes locked. Regina's dark eyes were intense and looked through her. Emma tried to look away but couldn't. She stared back into her eyes, boldly overcoming her shyness in that moment. She felt entrapped by the woman's gaze. She didn't want to blink, and she didn't want to look away. It was as though a magical tether appeared holding their souls together. It was obvious Regina felt the same way. Her eyes never moved once they locked with Emma's. She hadn't moved an inch.

A barely audible whisper escaped Emma's lips. "It's good to see you again, Regina.."

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**Part Eight**

A barely audible whisper escaped Emma's lips. "It's good to see you again, Regina.." Her eyes still wide and unblinking, she held the brunette's gaze as a warm smile slowly etched across her face. Her hand touched just above Regina's wrist, and she circled her fingers over the pulse there, making gentle strokes until she felt it racing beneath her skin. She heard the woman's soft intake of breath. Her eyes dropped unconsciously to the brunette's slightly parted lips before landing on her eyes again. She wasn't sure where this sudden boldness came from but she decided to go with it. It wasn't as if she had any choice anyway.

She stepped a little closer, the brunette's scent washing over her like a wave. Sparks shot down her spine. Her heart was beating fast and very, very shallowly, and not from fear. Surprise and caution and another emotion she couldn't quite read filled Regina's eyes when her fingers continued to stroke her skin lightly. She had forgotten why she had come here; she was completely mesmerized by what was happening to her, totally oblivious to reality, awed and dazed by the power Regina seemed to hold over her. How could someone affect her so strongly with just one look?

It confused her to no end that the brunette could provoke such intense feelings in her. She'd never felt this strongly about anyone, ever. That much was immediately clear. The more she got to know Regina, the more she longed to know her. At times the longing was like a physical ache. Was it love? Was that what love reduced you to? A violent, unbearable longing that nothing else could assuage? She had no idea. All she knew was that she could no more stop thinking about the woman in front of her than she could stop breathing, and that mixed in with it all confused her even more.

It troubled her that she really didn't feel as strongly about Killian as she felt about Regina. It was a different kind of love- less overwhelming, less powerful, and less scary. But her feelings for Regina were platonic- strictly platonic… Right? They were just friends. Friends and partners in crime. Friends who became family. Friends who happened to share a son. Friends who shared a magical connection. Friends who would do just about anything for one another. That wasn't such a big deal, right? She loved Regina, but she was _in love_ with Killian.

There was no logical explanation for these feelings; it was probably just her initial excitement and would wear off. She was just grateful that they were on speaking term again. That had to be it, right? She couldn't think of any other way to explain everything she was feeling right now.

But the nagging thoughts wouldn't go away. Her world seemed upside down, leaving everything she knew hazy and uncertain. Did she have feelings for Regina? Feelings that went beyond friendship? No? Then why had her heart flip-flopped when she'd heard her voice? Why did the pulse at the base of her throat jump every time their eyes met? And why- Her thoughts froze when Regina reached over and gently took her hand.

Her heart missed several beats, but this time it was from Regina's touch- so intimate, so soft, so unlike any other touch from her. So unlike _her_. She stared down at her hand held gently in the brunette's, her chest flooding with warmth at the sudden affection. Regina pressed their palms together and slowly entwined their fingers. She searched Emma's eyes, then, a touch of nervousness returning, blushed beautifully. "I'm glad you're here, Emma," she whispered, squeezing the blonde's hand lightly. She looked like someone who wanted to say a thousand things but knew she shouldn't.

Emma's breath caught sharply in her throat, and her ears were roaring with a sound like the ocean. It was yet again another one of those moments in her life where she felt like she had been removed- just a spectator, watching. She wasn't one bit in control, experiencing emotions at a whole new level. They seemed to be newfound emotions, feelings she'd never felt before. This was huge, it was frightening, and it was so amazingly exciting at the same time. The pull of her emotions was overwhelming as they stood there like that, each staring at the other, their hands fitting perfectly together.

Their relationship had never been particularly physical. They weren't touchy-feely with each other, or the kind of friends who hugged it out. But at that very moment the contrast couldn't have been any greater. They just held each other's hand, and stared into each other's eyes in wonder. It was like they were discovering each other a new, like a veil had moved from their eyes, like they had never truly seen each other before. They flashed a smile at each other- the sort of smile that scrunched up their eyes, opened their mouths a little, and showed their teeth. A smile that was infused with more meaning than any they'd shared before.

As she stood there with the brunette so close to her, Emma felt content right to her soul. She wondered if it was sinful to feel the way she felt right now. Because no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't deny the fact that there was nothing platonic about what she was feeling in this moment. She could practically hear the suck of her body's cells, drinking in the brunette's energy, claiming it as her own. And oh, she felt good. Everywhere they made contact, her skin buzzed. She couldn't deny the pleasure, any more than she could deny the need to slake the thirst that felt as though it had been building inside her all her life.

"Regina.." she whispered. Her eyes were wide, like she was trying to convey everything through her gaze instead of her words. She brushed her thumb lazily back and forth over the back of Regina's hand, and watched her dark brown eyes intently. They were stormy and wild, but her pupils were bottomless, as if they stretched into eternity. Little dark flecks dotted her irises, and thick, raven-black lashes curved delicately away from her eyelids. She could be lost forever in those, big, beautiful eyes.

"Moms!" a sudden voice broke their spell. Their hands lingered in each other's a moment more before they both pulled back in wonder, confused and shocked at the rush of strange sensations rushing through their bodies. Regina stepped away, putting some needed distance between them.

"Henry!" the brunette breathed out, her voice shaky. She pressed her left hand against one of the pillars and ran her fingers through her hair. She flashed Henry a smile, but her gaze wouldn't quite meet his. And she wasn't the only one that looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Emma just stood there, giving her son a wide-eyed look.

"Kid.." she choked out, her face suddenly growing even paler than usual. She was at a total loss for words. She glanced helplessly at Regina and saw her own sense of helplessness.

Henry's eyes darted back and forth between the two of them, trying to figure out what had just happened. His brows knitted together. "What's going on here?" His voice sounded suspicious and apprehensive. He glared hard at Emma before his eyes softened as he looked at Regina. "Mom.. are you okay?"

Looking at her son, Emma felt a pang inside her chest. She knew Henry blamed her for what happened. He resented her for abandoning his other mother. And she couldn't blame him for choosing Regina's side. She deserved that. It was the least she deserved. But it still hurt.

"I'm fine, sweetheart," Regina quickly replied, her concerned eyes searching Emma's face. She pushed herself away from the pillar and stepped close to the blonde, studying her. "We _both_ are.."

Speechless by the comment, Emma decided to nod in response- unable to meet the brunette's eyes. She forced a smile, dragged it up from her guts and slathered it on her face. She had to convince Henry because by doing so she hoped she would convince herself. But she wasn't fine, was she? She wasn't fine at all. Never had she felt so completely off balance. From the heights of unbelievable desire, she'd been plunged into reality. And she couldn't face it for a second until she could breathe.

She froze when she felt a warm hand brush against her own discreetly. Regina must have sensed her distress. She bit her lip and looked up at the brunette as she flashed her a warm and reassuring smile. Emma inhaled deeply, taking in the precious air that her lungs ached for.

"Your mother came over to invite us to dinner." Regina exclaimed suddenly, her eyes sparkling mischievously. She chuckled at the shocked look on Emma's face. When she spoke again, her voice turned almost sickly sweet. "So what do you say, honey? Who knows, she might impress us with her cooking skills.."

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 _Please let me know what you think :)_

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Part Nine**

 _Thank you so much for your reviews, favorites and follows! You all make my day :)_

 _Here's another chapter.._

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Emma sighed, setting down the spoon. She propped her elbows on the table and surveyed all the clutter and mess in the kitchen; pancake batter crusting the mixing bowls she'd tossed in the sink, measuring spoons and eggshells, sugar and flower spilled across the counter like remnants of a sandstorm. She had never been a very orderly cook. She'd never been much of a cook at all, for that matter. Dinner, either out at a restaurant or eaten as take out, had been a regular occurrence. She simply hated to cook and never did. It was just so boring. She did, however, loved to eat.

But then she'd met her son, and things had changed. _She_ had changed. Over the five years that she and Henry were together, she gradually became the mom that she never had. He had made her want to be a better person. She had learned to cook all his favorite dishes, but still, a homemade meal was such a novelty for them. Their meals together had usually consisted pizza's, or fast food.

Her eating habits had changed when she moved in with Mary Margret- coming home to a homemade meal that was ready and waiting for her. Coming home to find _someone_ waiting for her… But she had lost all privileges the moment she'd moved out so abruptly. A wave of nostalgia swept over her. Was it because she missed her mother, or because she couldn't eat her dishes anymore?

All of it had been so overwhelming. She'd never believed in fairy tales, never expected to have a family. Life had changed so much in the past couple of years, that she wanted to hang onto traditions. So she made a promise to herself, that she'd take her son out to dinner at least twice a week. She just wanted some quality time with him, enjoy the food, order the best pizza or chocolate cake and truly savor all the delicious flavors.

Since moving into her new house, she cooked no more than once a week. She just didn't feel at home there, for obvious reasons. It was silent. It was empty. And it had too many bad memories associated with it. The first few months that she'd spent there were the very darkest days of her life, in every sense of the word. And ever since that time, she couldn't get rid of the uneasiness that she always felt whenever she was alone inside her house.

Killian was no help in the cooking department either. She smirked a little as she recalled his words. _I've been told I have a magic hand, which is always at your service, love.. But there's no way in bloody hell I'm using it to cook._ And for whatever reason it didn't bother her. She never expected him to wash a dish or fix a meal. In fact, she had no expectations at all. She just wanted to enjoy their time together, to keep their relationship simple, carefree and fun.

Things had been way too heavy between them during the last year. She'd almost lost him, and a tsunami of emotions had washed over her. She hadn't been able to deal with the guilt and shame and horror of what happened to herself, to Killian, and to everyone around her. And when he had reappeared out of thin air- back in the world of living- she'd been so incredibly grateful. She'd promised herself that she would never let him get hurt again. She had invested more time in their relationship than she had with anyone else. But still, she wasn't ready to take their relationship further no matter how hard she fought.

There always seemed to be something missing, something that she could not lay a finger on. She had convinced herself that she couldn't ask for a better relationship, but still, inside she was longing for more passion, fire or something intense. She'd even tried to find things to argue about, ridiculous things, just to bring some spark into their relationship. But he never took the bait; he'd charmed his way out of it the way he always did.

No matter how much she loved him, no matter how much she _wanted_ to be involved with him, he wasn't.. He couldn't give her everything she _needed_. She needed love and belonging. She needed something to fill the empty parts of her soul. She needed someone to push her boundaries, someone who could challenge her both physically and mentally.

She gasped when Regina's face suddenly appeared in her mind; the one person who challenged her and made her want things she'd never considered before. With Regina she wanted to give more than take. She wanted to share more than just control her and the situation. She wanted to share her ideas, her dreams. But instead, she'd pushed her away, and as she continued to stare at the kitchen, she realized she hadn't just destroyed the trust between them; she'd obliterated her chance at happiness. Because that's how she felt whenever the brunette was around… _Happy_.

She loved the way Regina challenged her, made her want to be the best version of herself that she could be. She wanted to show the brunette what she was capable of, she wanted to live up to her expectations. She wanted to be good enough for her. Certainly, there were times when she wanted to strangle the woman, but she knew exactly where she stood with her friend at all times. The more time they spent together the more time she craved, until she was content simply being next to her throughout the day.

Deep in her heart, in the place she would never admit to, she knew it was more than friendship, more than companionship. She had finally found the person who _got her_ , and she was completely, hopelessly, and irrevocably in love.

Wait… _what?!_ Emma's eyes widened and her mouth hung open out of complete shock. In love? Am I really- Fleeing from her own thoughts, which frightened her, she took a large swig of her beer. The smooth, ice cold liquid felt almost too good going down. She desperately hoped the alcohol would dull her senses. She shook her head slightly and took another large chug of her beer.

"Well, that's quite a sight.." a familiar warm husky voice suddenly spoke from behind her. Emma gasped, her heart almost leaping out of her chest as she whirled around. A second later, the bottle she was holding slipped through her fingers. It dropped to the ground beside her feet and shattered into a hundred pieces. She didn't even notice the cool liquid coating her jeans and shoes.

She just snapped out of her trance when Regina called out to her. She took in a sharp breath and watched Regina and Henry stare at her in alarm before looking down at the floor. Glass and spilled alcohol where everywhere, but before anyone could move, before anyone could blink, the air seemed to vibrate, and the mess was gone. The floor was sparkling, shiny and new, as if none of it ever happened.

"Are you okay?" Regina asked, her voice laced with concern. She rubbed her hands together as if she were trying to contain the magic she'd just used. Her cheeks were flushed from exertion, her full lips parted slightly. Her dark gaze searched the blonde's, her brow creasing in a slight frown.

Emma nodded, her mouth still gaping as she blinked at the brunette. "Y- Yeah.." she choked out, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. She closed her eyes, and ran her trembling hands through her hair. "You just freaked the hell out of me."

She opened her eyes to find the brunette's gaze still fixed on her. Her deep brown eyes were wide and intense. A shiver made its way down her spine; it caused her to tighten in places that she had never felt sensitive in before. She swallowed thickly and balled her hands into fists at her sides, pressing them into her thighs.

"I'm sorry, mom.." Henry said quietly, stepping towards her. "We just wanted to surprise you." She dragged her eyes away from Regina and forced a smile to her lips. She released a breathy chuckle. "Oh, you did, kid.." she whispered and enveloped him in a tight hug. She leaned her chin on his shoulder, her eyes unconsciously searching Regina's again. Their gazes locked, and they shared a soft smile. Heat flooded her chest and crawled up to her neck to cover her face.

"Pancakes, mom?" Henry murmured before slowly releasing her. "Really?" He arched an amused brow at her. Emma smiled as she playfully pushed him back. "Don't be a brat, kid! You love pancakes." she exclaimed.

He grinned challengingly and then murmured, "Sorry, I'll behave.." He looked so much like Regina in that instant that Emma had to look away. She'd always been awed by the striking resemblance between her son and his adoptive mother. His dark hair and eyes, his strong jawline, but most of all, the strength he radiated.

"Call me when dinner is ready, okay?" he said, already walking towards his room. She watched him walk off smiling before her eyes settled on Regina once again. She tried to ignore the way her heart skipped a beat at the sight of her. She took in the brunette's appearance; her silky dark hair hanging down over her left shoulder, flawless makeup, and stylish clothes. The low-cut blouse and tight pants that could convince any person to give her what she wanted. _God, she's gorgeous._

"Hi.." she breathed. Heat flooded her neck and face again. She smoothed down her hair, gaining her bearings, taking a moment to remind herself she wasn't supposed to be attracted to Regina. The brunette smirked just a bit and rolled her eyes as she moved towards Emma. She stopped in front of her and leaned in intimately close.

"It's good to see you, too," she drawled and ran her hand down the bare skin of Emma's arm. Her touch was chased by goosebumps, and desire, a desire Emma willed herself not to feel, but doing that only seemed to intensify the feeling. A grin curved across Regina's lips and the tension between them rose and twisted into a thick chain.

Her plan was going wrong, but it was the kind of blissful wrong she couldn't turn away from, couldn't stop. Want pulsed through her veins, throbbed in her pelvis, overriding every sensible thought. It was damn hard to remember why they'd never hugged before, because she couldn't think of anything else right now. Well, _yes_ , she could, but those thoughts hardly seemed appropriate in this moment.

The brunette's stare made her nervous, but she wasn't scared. So she held Regina's gaze as one dark brow arched upward, and the spark in her eyes became a flame. It ignited something inside Emma, something that roared and blazed. Throwing caution to the wind, she took a hesitant step forward, reaching timidly toward the brunette, as she too moved, closing the gap between them as she pulled her into her arms.

She shivered as their bodies brushed together; her knees wobbled and her insides flared with need and want and melting heat. She wanted _more_ , wanted to touch her all over, wanted to hold her as close as she could. She felt Regina's hands on her back, sliding up and caressing her softly. A surge of hope and arousal shot through her. She fisted her left hand in the brunette's hair and pulled their bodies even closer.

When she heard the woman's sigh, she grinned and then nuzzled her face against Regina's neck. She inhaled her scent and savored the moment. Their bodies fitted so perfectly together, it seemed like another form of magic. If there's heaven on earth, she thought, this must be it. She flexed her hand on the brunette's hip then let it settle against her lower back, unconsciously pressing her closer. She felt the erratic beating of Regina's heart against her own, and it filled her with a feeling of desire and power that she had never experienced before.

Regina's hands wandered over her back, up to her neck, where she stroked lightly, tickling. Her touch was careful and affectionate. Emma felt her nipples become tights buds against the brunette's chest, and bit her lip to keep from moaning. She closed her eyes even tighter, and shifted her weight in a vain attempt to ease the pulsing ache between her legs. Oh damn. This was _so_ not part of the plan.

They held each other tightly, silently, for several long moments. It wasn't just a hug. It was a hug that she had never experienced before. It was a hug that only someone who loved you and understood what you were going through could give you. It was also a hug that she wouldn't have let anyone else give her because it meant putting down her guards and that was one of the only things which kept her from falling apart. It was everything she'd imagined and more, so very, very much more.

Regina's hands were everywhere, smoothing over her shoulders and her back, cupping the nape of her neck as she angled her face for a better fit. Her hot breath panted against Emma's skin sending a warm tingle everywhere. She should feel naked standing there in her kitchen while the brunette brought her body pleasures she'd only imagined before, but she felt as though she'd been set free. She allowed her instinct to take over.

Her next move was pure, slow motion beauty as she shifted a little, and gently brushed Regina's hair away from her neck. Their eyes locked for a second and smoldered with a need too intense to deny. Then Emma slowly moved her mouth towards the soft flesh on the brunette's neck, and pressed her lips against it, fully. At her touch Regina sighed, and slipped one of her hands on the back of Emma's head, supporting it, and used her other arm to wrap around her back, holding her against her body.

Emma closed her eyes and groaned softly as her lips traveled over Regina's jaw, down her neck, her tongue flicking over the woman's rapidly-beating pulse. A moan sighed from her, and she felt the brunette shudder against her. Emma smiled. In the next moment her warm, soft lips found Regina's earlobe and then traveled down the side of her neck to her collarbone. Her hand was on the brunette's shoulder and gently pulled at her blouse. She kissed the newly revealed skin.

"E-Emma, stop.." Regina suddenly breathed out, gently pushing the blonde's shoulders. Her eyes were wide and startled, her cheeks flushed. Emma didn't realize she was gasping for air or that her chest was heaving against the brunette's. All she knew was that her fingertips were on fire from the simple gesture against her skin.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Part Ten**

 _Thank you so much for your continued support :) We pick up where we left off… Enjoy!_

* * *

Emma tried to control her breathing, but it continued to come in quick, shallow gasps. Her heart thudded as she waited for the brunette to push her away. But she didn't. She didn't flinch, and she didn't step back either. The seconds slowly ticked as their gazes remained locked. She was standing so close to her that she could see the flecks of darker brown in her eyes. Close enough to be caught and held by the intensity of the emotions swirling in those dark depths.

She could feel and see the brunette's love for her, the need and desire that washed through her with the same strength of passion it did her. She'd been so afraid to feel this way, the tearing, gut-wrenching longing that filled her and refused to let her go. It was all there in Regina's eyes, and that confused her even more. If she really wanted this, then why did she push her away? Had she misread the signals? She couldn't bear the anticipation, the waiting, the wondering.

She swallowed, not sure what to do. They were still touching. Her hands stayed frozen on Regina's hips, and the brunette's hands were still on her shoulders. If she was pulling her closer or pushing her away Emma couldn't tell. She _did_ know, however, that the heat of those perfect fingers burned through the thin fabric of her shirt; a firm warm presence that seemed to be seeping down into her.

Another second passed, and they were still standing there, only inches apart. A feeling of unease crept up her spine. Why wasn't Regina moving? Why wasn't she saying anything? And why did her expression suddenly change like that? It was an expression she had never seen before and had no idea how to interpret.

Emma faltered, and averted her gaze- afraid of what it might reveal- and bit her trembling bottom lip. Fear entwined with her panic, overwhelming her to the point that she shifted away from the brunette. "Oh God, I'm so sorry! I just wasn't thinking!" she choked out, her eyes wide and terrified. She stumbled a few steps back. "I-I didn't mean to do it. Please forgive me, Regina. Forgive me.."

Her legs were trembling and tears were welling up in her eyes. She averted her gaze again, ashamed to look Regina in the eye. How could she lose control like that? What was she thinking? She stared at the wall and shook all over. She didn't know what to do and she sure as hell didn't know what had come over her. Anything could ignite her at the moment with her emotions flying in every direction.

She turned away and placed her trembling hands flat on the table, as if to steady herself. She closed her eyes and drew a shaky breath, feeling her stomach turn. She leaned a little forward, and her long blond hair fell over her shoulders, shielding her face. She had a sudden urge to flee somewhere and hide. She was not a coward, but she was terrified of everything that had just passed between them. Afraid of the possible consequences, afraid she'd crossed an uncrossable line and nothing would ever be the same again.

Her feet started moving on their own, but before she could get very far, Regina recovered and came after her. "Emma, wait!" her panicked voice called out. The sound of her high heels clicking against the hardwood floor echoed throughout the kitchen. She caught up with the blonde before she made it to the door, grabbed her hand and spun her back around. "Emma…" she whispered again. Their gazes locked and Emma's breath hitched in her chest. Her eyes were huge, wide, and vulnerable- oh, so vulnerable.

Regina took a step towards her and softly squeezed her hand. "Hey, it's okay…" she whispered, forcing a reassuring smile on her face. "There's nothing to be scared of, Emma. Nothing at all." Something warm and soothing brushed over Emma's skin, as if everything was fine, as if she was where she was supposed to be. After sucking in her breath and releasing it, she glanced down at their hands and made a small sound. Regina's thumb brushed gently over the back of her hand, and the caring gesture warmed her deep inside.

"We just got a little too carried away with ourselves.." Regina continued softly, searching the blonde's eyes again. But Emma wouldn't meet her eyes, and with a quiet sigh she reached out a finger and tilted up her chin, forcing the blonde to face her. "It's okay, Emma." she whispered again.

Emma released the breath she'd been holding and bit her lower lip. She couldn't keep up with the sensations flooding through her body, gripping the brunette's hand a litter tighter to anchor herself. She took a few calming breaths, eyes closed, before daring to open them again. When their eyes connected, she shook her head slightly. "I won't.. It just.. won't happen again. I promise." she stuttered, her gaze holding Regina's. She caught the flash of something in her deep brown eyes, but it disappeared before she could analyze it.

"It quite alright, dear," Regina whispered. Emma wasn't sure what the brunette meant by that. Hope flared for a second, but she quenched it immediately. The smile she had memorized, the one that had starred in her dreams, curved across the brunette's face. She tried to steel herself against its power, but this was not like resisting the last pastry on Granny's platter. This was _Regina_. And she carried way more temptation than some sugar, cinnamon or cocoa.

She was once again amazed by her beauty and Emma couldn't help herself but to reach out and touch her. She took a strand of hair that had fallen across the woman's face and gently tucked it behind her ear. It was strange how quickly she had grown used to being so intimate with her. She heard Regina's breath hitch, making her realize that maybe, just maybe, the brunette needed her as badly as she needed her.

Staring deep into her eyes, she cupped Regina's cheek in her hand, and swept her thumb across the satin-smooth skin. Her body brushed lightly against the brunette's, her eyes fluttering shut with pleasure, and she breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't push her away. Instead, Regina placed her hand over hers, carefully, as if she were made of porcelain. And when she pressed her cheek into the palm of her hand, Emma released her breath in a shaky sigh.

For a moment she allowed herself to pretend that they were a family, a happy family. She felt safe, loved, protected. This is what every woman should feel, she thought. This kind of love, unconditional and overwhelming. This is how everyone imagines it should be. How everyone hopes it will be. And if she could only have this moment, if this was the only time she'd have Regina to herself, then she wanted to hold on to it for as long as she could.

 _One more time._ She just wanted to _feel_ her one more time.

And when the brunette turned her head, and pressed her lips against her palm, she knew she should step away, telling her that she wasn't making it any easier for her to let her go. But she couldn't find the words, the strength, and so she trailed her thumb across Regina's full lips. Her body flared like a match, heat searing along her nerve endings as she lost herself in the sensations. She kept her eyes closed, trying to memorize the feel of her.

Regina sighed, her mouth parting under the gentle pressure of Emma's finger that circled her lips before the tip of her finger rubbed back and forward along her lower lip. And instead of pulling away she leaned in a little further to let her explore. "I just- I can't seem to control myself around you.." Emma breathed, feeling her knees buckle.

Her breath hitched when the brunette sucked her digit between her lips, and lightly caressed her skin with her tongue. Emma nearly came on the spot. She stared up at the brunette, her lips slightly parted in amazement at the shudders of pleasure that rippled through her at the intimacy of Regina's action. Her heart thudded, knowing at that moment Regina had to be the most sensual and passionate woman to walk on the planet.

The brunette lingered a little, touched her tongue to the blonde's flesh, and then nipped with her lips. Soft, slow, gentle, her mouth traveled a path across her palm and up the length of each finger. "It's okay.." she whispered hoarsely, her hot breath sensitizing Emma's skin. She looked up at the blonde, fluttering her long eyelashes, and smiled that ridiculously beautiful smile again. Her dark eyes were hypnotic; impossible to ignore.

Emma shuddered, wanting to do so much more. She knew she should stop things there and then but didn't have the willpower. She wanted her. She wanted her more that she'd ever wanted anyone in her life. She wasn't thinking of what she could take from her. She thought only of what she could _give_ her.

She wanted to tell Regina how beautiful she was. Stroke and caress her body until she sighed with contentment. She wanted to show her how it could be between them. Take away all the pain, and give her something beautiful. She wanted her with a need that bordered on obsession

Unfortunately, the feeling of desire and satisfaction was to disappear with the next sound, reminding her of another appetite that still needed satisfying. Her stomach rumbled loudly in the quiet room. She inhaled sharply, and her cheeks flushed ever so slightly pink. Regina chuckled throatily, and flashed her an amused smile, causing Emma took look down in embarrassment.

"I suppose that's our cue, dear.." Regina smiled, her voice low and husky, kissing Emma's palm one more time before she let go of her hand. She sighed and stepped away from the blonde, leaving Emma's hand in midair.

Emma stared at the brunette, watching her run her hand through her hair, watching the heavy rise and fall of her chest, and the slight flush on her cheeks. She caught a flash something that resembled disappointment cross the woman's features, but it was gone so quickly she might have imagined it. She slowly lowered her hand before shoving it in her pocket to stop the shaking. She shrugged awkwardly and smiled, suddenly shy again. "Yeah.. I guess it is.."

* * *

The dinner passed off even better than she had hoped it would. Strange but true, it was a happy threesome that sat around her table. It made her feel good to be around them. And if she felt a tug of longing watching them interact with one another, she pushed it aside. Not even to herself she wanted to admit how much she longed for them to become a true family. She never thought she'd be the kind of girl content with domestic life. The kind of girl who wanted to cook dinner and lie on the couch together with a glass of wine and talk for hours. Never, that was, until she met Regina.

"Mom," Henry broke her thoughts, as he shifted his attention to his adoptive mother. "I've got something for you." Regina looked up at him, her eyebrows arching in surprise. She searched his face, and a soft smile spread across her lips. "For me?" she whispered in her most gentle and soft voice.

Emma observed Regina closely, and caught the expression of wonder that crossed her beautiful face. It broke her heart to see her like this- so grateful, and so amazed. Almost like she still couldn't believe that her son thought she was worth loving. She mentally promised herself that she would never stop showing the brunette how worthy she was.

"Um.. actually, it's for both of you," Henry quietly added, shifting in his seat. Emma's eyes darted to his, and she frowned slightly. When she watched him scratch his head, she knew he was up to something. She recognized the nervous habit as one she'd had when she was very young.

"Henry?" she said softly. His pale face went even whiter. Nervously he chewed on his lower lip. "Yeah.. Um.. Right.." he stuttered before he slowly reached for his back. She shared a puzzled look with Regina, then looked back at her son.

"This is for you.." he mumbled and quickly handed Regina an envelope. She took it carefully and examined it, turning it over as if she looked for some kind of message. Her brows furrowed in confusion and she flashed Emma a glance. "By _us_ you mean.. your mother and I?" she asked as she motioned her finger back and forth between them, searching his eyes for confirmation. Henry bit his lip and nodded.

Unable to contain her curiosity, Emma shifted a little closer to Regina so she could see a little more. Slowly opening the envelope, she caught the slight tremble in Regina's hands. She looked up into the brunette's face, her eyes fixed on her concentrated features. She seemed nervous, too. She glanced over at her son, who was biting his nails. Emma's curious eyes darted between them.

"Henry!" Regina suddenly exclaimed, her eyes wide. "How did you.. Why would you give us something like this?"

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**Part Eleven**

"Henry!" Regina suddenly exclaimed, her eyes wide. "How did you.. Why would you give us something like this?"

Emma watched as Henry seemed to shrink in his seat, as if he wanted to become invisible. His face looked very pale, almost scared. She frowned briefly in confusion, and shifted her gaze back to Regina who looked beyond puzzled. Scooting a little closer, Emma focused on the paper in the brunette's hand. She clasped her hand onto Regina's wrist to hold her still, and tried to ignore the way her body reacted to the touch.

Her emerald eyes darted over the words, then abruptly stopped. _Oh my God, fuck!_ she gasped inwardly. Her cheeks warmed, her mind instantly flooding with pieces of half-buried dreams and images that flashed in front of her for a moment and then vanished again. She pressed her thighs together to ease the ache that had set up a distinctive throb deep inside her. _Oh God, what the hell was wrong with her?_ She instantly felt ashamed of her thoughts. Why did everything suddenly keep coming back to _that_? She willed her body to relax and sucked in a deep breath, releasing it slowly.

She scanned the page again, then looked back up at her son. "A wellness weekend?" she asked in a high voice, her eyes wide with surprise and panic. "You- You want us to go on a vacation together?" She glanced towards Regina, wanting to gauge her reaction, but her expression was unreadable. Henry swallowed nervously, and he shifted in his seat. "You don't like it?" he said softly. It sounded more like a statement than a question. His eyes dropped to the table. "I was just thinking-"

"Yes, what were you thinking, darling?" Regina cut him off, tilting her head to one side. She spoke softly, gently.. almost regretfully. "I mean, this must have cost you a fortune! And it's also highly unnecessary.."

Henry's eyes snapped up, and his jaw set in a stubborn line. "No, it's not, mom! I think it is _very_ necessary." His gaze was fierce. All of his previous nervousness vanished, replaced by determination and confidence. "You deserve a break. And I don't care if it costs me a fortune."

Emma held her breath as her eyes darted back and forth between them. "You have already paid the highest possible price.. So, please let me do this for you, mom. You've been through unimaginable things, and you love anyway. You're so strong, so brave." He paused for a second, his eyes so earnest and serious. He looked so much older than his sixteen years in that moment, as if he'd taken on a great responsibility, one far greater than his age warranted, but one he was determined to follow through with. "You deserve a break from it all.."

Regina stared at him with her mouth agape. Her eyes were glimmering with unshed tears, but she was trying to smile. "You would do that for me?" she whispered in wonder. Henry flashed her a beaming smile and then nodded his head. "I just want you to be happy, mom."

A soft, inarticulate noise escaped Regina's throat. Emma regarded her intently, her heart swelling up inside her. She watched the brunette's lips curl in a breathtaking smile, and saw the sparkle in her eyes. In all the years she'd know Regina, she'd never seen her like this. _God, she looked so beautiful._ So incredibly hopeful and happy. Just the sight of the brunette stole the air from Emma's lungs, and caused sensations and longings in her that she had never before experienced.

"Henry's right, Regina, about… well, everything.. You deserve it." Her voice was soft and tentative. She heard the brunette's breath hitch in her throat. To her shock, when she looked back into Regina's eyes, the smile was gone from her face. She was looking at her so intensely with her glistering eyes and her slightly parted lips, Emma shivered involuntarily.

She wanted to reach out and touch her, comfort her, wipe away the lone tear that was making its way down her cheek, but she thought it was better that she kept her distance at the moment. Instead, she flashed the brunette another one of those watery smiles that hid a wealth of emotions. She felt consumed by a burning need to take care of Regina- to relieve that tension from her shoulders, to tease a laugh or two out of her, to make her forget her troubles for the moment.

"You deserve to be happy.." she whispered again, holding the brunette's gaze steadily to convince her of her sincerity. Tears formed on Regina's lashes, and she blinked them away. After a moment, her deep brown eyes fluttered closed and her chin tilted up a little. She exhaled a long breath, and the tension in her shoulders seemed to ease a fraction. When their eyes met again, a shy, sweet smile crept across the brunette's face. She nodded as if thanking her, and Emma nodded back once, returning her smile.

Emma inhaled a breath and exhaled it slowly before she spoke again. "But I, however.." she sighed, her voice trailing off. She dragged her eyes away from Regina after a few moments, choosing instead to focus her attention on Henry. She cleared her throat, her brows lifting slightly. "Why did you involve _me_ in this, kid?" she asked softly, the flicker of uncertainty in her voice unmistakable.

Henry glanced down at her hand, before looking up at her again. A faint smile crossed his features. She followed his gaze and gasped, shocked to find her hand still clasped around Regina's wrist, and maybe even more shocked to realize the brunette had let her. She wanted to pull back, meant to pull back, but she just couldn't. She couldn't let go of her; she wanted to hold on to their connection. She felt like she was finally home and vowed herself that she would never pull away from her family ever again- no matter what.

"You deserve a break, too, ma.." he stated quietly, his nervousness returning. "I thought the two of you would like to be together on this… you know, spend some time together." His cautious glance was uncertain- it questioned his decision, it questioned if he wanted the coming drama. "But maybe I was wrong.." he murmured, more to himself than to his mothers.

"No!" Emma and Regina choked out simultaneously, and for one startling moment their eyes locked in surprise. Regina was first able to speak again. "No, Henry, you're not wrong at all," she said softly, her face breaking out into a warm smile. "It's very considerate of you, sweetheart. We just weren't expecting this.."

Henry looked up at Regina nervously, studying her face carefully. After a few moments- as if he'd been holding his breath- his shoulders relaxed visibly. The spark of mischief returned to his eyes, and a hint of a grin quirked one corner of his mouth. "Well, I wasn't expecting _that_ ," he retorted, nodding once in the direction of Emma's hand around Regina's wrist.

He held back a chuckle as their eyes snapped down, seeing an almost instant look of panic on both women's faces. He also didn't miss the way his blonde mother flashed his other mother a concerned look, as if she were afraid of her reaction. He studied them intently, his eyes narrowing. He'd expected them to separate from each other; however, they didn't move, not an inch. They didn't even appear to be breathing.

"Moms, just relax, okay?" he smiled, attempting to hide his amusement behind his cup. He took a long, slow sip from his drink then sat the cup down on the table. "Look, I was really just kidding." He couldn't help but laugh out loud at how similar their expressions were. Their deer in the headlight eyes, their mouths slightly agape, and their cheeks flushed with something he wasn't quite sure of.

And despite herself, despite everything, Emma started laughing, a low rumble which sounded nothing like her usual laugh. "God, he really _is_ your son, Regina!" she cried out, her body shaking with laughter. Not sure where her sudden confidence came from, she moved her hand and entwined her fingers with the brunette's. She watched Regina's face for a reaction and felt the woman's hand slowly move around hers. Her heart skipped a beat and she felt her face flush with a sudden warmth. Then Regina glanced up, feigning ignorance as she lifted her chin. "And what is that supposed to mean, _Miss Swan_?" she said in her low, sultry drawl.

Emma just laughed harder, and squeezed her hand. "Ooh woman, would you just look at that smug grin on his face?! A striking resemblance, don't you think, _My Majesty?_ " For a second Regina gaped at her before her composure returned. It was fascinating to watch. _She_ was fascinating to watch. Emma smiled bashfully, and fixed the brunette with a stare.

Regina rolled her eyes, but even so, her gaze remained glued to the blonde's face, filled with something akin to fascination. " _My_ Majesty?" she asked, almost timidly. Emma could tell she had meant it as a joke, but the tightening in the her voice was unmistakable. There was definitely something more to her question. Her smile faltered a little, and she saw the sudden discomfort on Regina's face, as if she just realized she'd said the words out loud.

Before she could respond, not that she knew what she was going to say, Regina spoke again, "What about _Hook_?" Emma frowned, confused by the sudden change of topic. She shook her head, trying hard to keep up with the brunette, trying to understand where this conversation would take them and what she should say next. "What about him?" she retorted quietly, screwing up her face at Regina. Now the brunette did roll her eyes. "Well, shouldn't he accompany you?"

She caught Regina's nervous tone and met her gaze again. Something flashed through her dark eyes. Sadness. Deep, heartbreaking sadness. Was she thinking about Robin? Did she resent her because she was able to be with Killian? She regarded the brunette for a moment, wondering what was going on inside her mind, when she realized she had been staring at her for quite a while. She quickly averted her gaze, her face turning a pinkish hue.

"Is that what you want?" she asked softly, startled by hearing her own words. _No, no, no, that came out all wrong!_ Regina's face twisted in an almost comical expression of horror. "No! Of course not, don't be ridiculous!" the brunette scowled, her nose cringed with disgust. "Ugh, I think I'd rather die than see his white, hairy chest for an entire weekend."

Emma couldn't help but laugh at their ridiculous exchange. She'd gotten used to Regina's particular brand of intimidating, her dark humor, and her snarky remarks. It was one of the things that annoyed her about the brunette, but also- simultaneously- one of the things she loved most. "So, that's settled then," she stated almost smugly, biting back a grin. "I think I can survive a weekend without his devilish, handsome chest anyway."

Regina closed her eyes, as if blocking out an image she couldn't bear. "That's just revolting," she scoffed, shaking her head. Emma watched her with amusement and chuckled. "Maybe you should change your title to _Drama Queen_.." Regina's eyes snapped open at that, and she pinned the blonde with her gaze. She huffed in annoyance and bumped their shoulders together. "You're as obnoxious as ever I see." She licked her lips and the sight of her tongue moistening her slightly parted lips was almost Emma's undoing.

On the other side of the table, Henry caught the unmistakable grin on Regina's face. On both their faces, actually. His eyes drifted between both his mothers, sensing a change between them though unable to put his finger on what it was. They seemed somehow closer, more intimate- in fact they were actually touching! He noticed how close they sat together, and he had noticed the way his mothers were looking at each other during dinner. They seemed to be using their eyes to silently communicate with each other, in the same way his grandparents did.

His brows furrowed in puzzlement as he wondered what was going on. Was it possible that- _No!_ He cut off his wandering thoughts before they could detour too far down that path of hope. However, he couldn't help but be proud of his little plan, which suddenly seemed more achievable than ever before.

* * *

 _Please let me know what you think :)_

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

**Part Twelve**

 _Thanks again for all your favorites, follows and reviews! Love every single one of them._

 _Here's another chapter for you :)_

* * *

The weeks went by slowly, and outside the days were getting shorter and colder. The leaves had finished falling from the trees and remained scattered across the streets. Emma still couldn't get used to the winters, with their long, dark nights, and often dreary days. Her mood had always been influenced by the seasons. She hated cold, wet, and grey weather. She hated being stuck inside and much preferred being out in the fresh air.

That was one of the reasons she loved her job. Being out on patrol was like breathing to her. She loved to drive around town- the window rolled down- and feel the wind through her hair. It made her feel alive and free. And at the same time, she found meaning and purpose in helping others. It was her job to protect the townsfolk and keep them safe. Strangely enough, this also frightened her more than anything. _What if I'm not good enough? What if I fail?_ Yet, at the same time, it was a challenge and she liked challenges. She had thrived on challenges all her life.

In that instant, so many images flashed though her mind- images of her and Regina throughout the years. How they fought each other so long and so fiercely that eventually they began to admire and respect each other. How they encouraged, supported and challenged each other because they knew each other's gifts and strengths and made the most of them. They had overcome so many battles together, so many obstacles, and it only made them stronger.

She couldn't help but wonder what all of that meant. _It had to mean something, right?_ The pull between them went beyond friendship, beyond any human bond she'd ever formed. What was it between them- destiny, insanity, _love?_ The feeling terrified her, and she'd sensed it terrified Regina as well.

She and Regina had settled into a comfortable routine over the past weeks. They would usually meet every morning without fail to have coffee and plan their lunch times depending upon their schedules. They were almost inseparable during those hours of the day. It was such a routine occurrence that it was known by just about everyone in town that the two would have lunch together every day at Granny's.

As her relationship with Regina grew deeper and stronger, her relationship with Killian grew more distant. She always found some excuse to cancel or shorten their plans together, and sex between them became non-existent. Every time she looked into his bright blue eyes, she felt so incredibly guilty for acting the way she did. For _feeling_ the way she did. And as they fleetingly said goodbye to each other that morning, she realized how much they had grown apart over the past month. The situation was just so damn complex, she had no idea what to do.

She felt guilty about the littlest thing. Sometimes her behavior almost felt irrational, even to herself. She felt guilty about forgetting to ask him if he'd had supper, for switching her phone to silent, for forgetting to buy his favorite rum. But most of all, she felt guilty for spending her days daydreaming about Regina, her nights reaching for her in her sleep, and she couldn't take it anymore.

Every moment she spent with Killian, she found her thoughts drifting to the brunette. _It was nuts, crazy, and unacceptable._ And the fact that she was looking forward to spending a whole weekend with her- without Killian- made Emma feel even more guilty, and a little exited, for having these feelings at all.

She realized that all of her guilt was manifested in being afraid to make a change in her life. She wanted to keep things the way they were. But at the same time, she knew she was good in everyone's eyes except her own. In her own eyes, she was a horrible mess. She tried so desperately to fulfill the expectations of others without considering her own needs. She just languished on being fearful of stepping out of her comfort zone. _What would happen if she broke up with Killian? Would everything fall apart without him?_ Well, with the way she'd been acting lately, it would not have made much of a difference.

She rarely focused on herself. To focus on herself was often very painful. There was a whole lot of hurt and pain and regret on the inside. She was twitchy, on edge, and every time she thought about the future, her stomach rolled. She couldn't live like that.

Killian had noticed. She occasionally caught a concerned look in his eye, but she was ignoring it. She was so good at ignoring things she didn't want to talk about. She knew she couldn't change her feelings, but she could control her actions. She just needed to focus on herself for a while. She knew Killian would be okay. She knew that if she didn't get herself together, then he would suffer.

She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep steadying breath, trying to soothe her frayed nerves and troubled thoughts. Her hands trembled and she fisted them on her thighs. She couldn't recall ever feelings so nervous before. She leaned her head back against the seat, trying to relax. She focused on the sound of the music playing softly on the speakers.

The week had gone by so slowly. And as the days dragged by she began to get more and more anxious about their trip. Not only were they going to a spa, but she would be with the woman she couldn't stop thinking about. But there was another reason she felt anxious as hell. She was struggling to fight temptation. She was falling under Regina's spell and didn't think she could resist much longer.

She sneaked a glance at the woman beside her, her mouth breaking into a smile as she soaked up the memory of her features in her mind. Regina's dark eyes were concentrated on the road, her hands on the steering wheel, as she hummed along with the last notes of a song on the radio. She seemed more relaxed than Emma had ever seen her; her expression was almost serene. And she noticed idly that the brunette was wearing jeans, the only time she'd ever seen her dressed so casually, and a red pullover sweater that accentuated the natural glow of her skin.

A shiver crept up her spine and her eyes fluttered closed. She knew with each day that passed her feelings for Regina were growing more real. It had been almost a month since that day in her kitchen, and they'd kept their distance physically. Maybe because of this, her physical need for the brunette had grown every day. Just seeing her walk caused an electric current to float over her skin, but she hadn't dared act on her feelings and desires, because it meant she'd have to admit that her relationship with Killian was over. And she wasn't sure she was ready to admit that yet.

Besides, she had no idea how Regina felt. That they were more than just regular friends was certain, but she could not tell if the brunette desired her. _Maybe she was just flirting with her.._ Sometimes it seemed as though they were tipping into something close and deep, but then she would decide that this was wishful thinking. But somehow, forgetting what had happened between them was much harder than she expected.

* * *

One hour later they arrived at their destination. After checking in at the large reception desk and getting the key to _their_ room, they made their way to the elevator which took them slowly to the third floor and room 302 which was their home for the next three days. By then it was almost nine p.m. and both were tired from the long ride.

"I can't believe we have to share a room," Regina said, feigning annoyance. She placed her suitcase against the wall and looked around. Oblivious to the frozen state of the woman behind her, she started exploring the room. She smiled appreciatively as her eyes took everything in.

Emma's mind raced a million miles per hour, as she muttered under her breath, "And a _bed_.." A surge of unwelcome anticipation pulsated along her nerve endings. The king-size bed was draped with an ivory coverlet made of silk and lace. Just looking at it made her nervous and excited all at the same time. One moment, she prayed that she could touch Regina, and the next, she hoped she wouldn't dare.

"What did you say?" Regina asked, looking at her curiously. _Of fuck, did I say that out loud?_ Emma's face turned scarlet as she blushed and smiled nervously. "Nothing.." she said quickly, trying to keep her gaze from drifting to the bed. _She couldn't just stand here, panicking._ Making a complete fool out of herself had not been in her plans that morning. So far she was failing miserably.

Finally able to move again, she reached for a chair and sat down heavily, staring at her hands in her lap. She clenched her jaw and willed herself to calm down. Still her pulse raced. A moment of silence settled between them. Emma hated to image what the brunette might be thinking. She needed to compose herself, and fast. But her pulse quickened even further as she heard Regina approach.

"If this makes you uncomfortable, I can check-" Regina started, but Emma cut her off. "No!" she exclaimed. Her gaze jerked to the brunette's and then she wished- _oh, how she wished_ \- that she hadn't looked at her at all. Her dark eyes were intense, compelling, and in that moment she _knew_. She knew how desperately she wanted this. She didn't want to be numb. She wanted to be wide awake, here, in the moment.

"Then what is it, Emma?" Regina asked quietly, stepping closer. "What is bothering you? You hardly said a word on our way here." She looked so concerned, so genuinely concerned, that Emma almost told her how she felt right then. But the words stuck in her throat.

"I know.. I'm sorry.." she choked out, running a shaking hand through her hair. Regina pulled another chair over and sat down in front her. Tentatively, she placed a hand on Emma's knee and searched her gaze. "Talk to me, please.. Have I said or done something to upset you?" Her voice was soft, unsure.

Emma closed her eyes and bowed her head. She felt the warmth of Regina's touch through her jeans, her skin tingling in awareness. She swallowed thickly, then took a deep breath before meeting the brunette's eyes again. "No, it isn't you.. It's me. I'm sorry, I'm just so… _tense_ all the time these days."

Regina cocked an eyebrow and smiled warmly. "Then you're exactly where you should be.." she murmured playfully, lightening the mood between them. Emma smothered a grin. Regina had somehow managed to put her slightly at ease, and she silently thanked her, though her throat felt so constricted she wasn't able to utter a single word.

A comfortable silence settled between them as they stared at each other. It was something that was occurring more often now. They'd sit across a table or, after one of their many shared dinners, relax on the couch reading, then without warning look up and find the other staring. A shared wink and smile, and then they'd return to whatever it was they were doing at the time. Emma couldn't explain exactly what it was, but it fascinated her to no end. She flashed Regina a soft smile, and watched her deep brown eyes sparkle with something she couldn't name.

A sudden movement caught her eye and as she glanced down, the brunette flicked her fingers and suddenly, with a puff of smoke and a flash of light, a small bottle appeared in her hand. Emma's breath hitched and her eyes became huge. "How.. How did you..?" she stuttered, shocked, confused. Regina looked surprised, too. She stared at the bottle, pooching her lips out and frowning. "I'm not quite sure.. but my guess is that Rumple somehow disturbed the balance in this world."

A quiver of unease settled in her stomach when the brunette waved her hand again, a glowing fireball erupting from her palm. She gaped in shock at the magical fire, seeing the heatless flames dance and crackle while her mind was working overload. _How is that even possible? She shouldn't be able to do this! There were no loopholes in the curse. They weren't in Storybrooke; they were in a different world, where different rules applied. And, more importantly, nothing of a magical nature ever came free. A price was always paid to keep the balance. What if-_ Her gaze snapped up to Regina's face which held an almost intrigued look, her dark eyes shining, reflecting the flames.

When Regina looked up and caught the blonde staring at her, their gazes locked and held across the fire. The flames licked at the corner of Emma's vision and she couldn't seem to look away, her gaze drawn irresistibly to the brown depths of the woman in front of her.

A thrumming started in the pit of her stomach and her eyes widened. She recognized the sensation and balled her hands into fists before forcing her muscles to relax. Energy flowed through her, tingling and glowing beneath her skin like translucent electricity, ready to be unleashed. As always, her magic seemed to be tied to the brunette's, and she desperately tried to hold in it.

Regina must have sensed her discomfort, because she immediately closed her hand into a fist, and the fire extinguished. She looked intently at the blonde as she searched her face, concern darkening her eyes. Emma glanced down at her hand, then shook her head. "Doesn't that worry you a little?" she asked in a high voice, unable to mask her distress.

Regina sighed and smiled, meeting the blonde's gaze once again. "Honestly? No, I choose not to.." she said earnestly, her dark eyes holding Emma's. She paused for a moment, as if she were reflecting on something. "In Henry's comic books, Superman gets to save the entire world. But we're just mortals, Emma, and this is not a comic book. We can only save part of the world. And even doing _that_ much takes a hell of a lot of luck, and more sacrifice than I care to think about."

Emma gaped at the brunette, speechless for a moment, her eyes wide and brimming with tears. "What about the parts you can't save?" she asked quietly, folding her arms around herself. She suppressed a shudder. "What do you do about the people who die because you can't do your job well enough to save them?"

Regina gasped softly. She leaned forward in her chair, and placed her hand on Emma's knee again. She squeezed lightly, making the blonde look up at her. "Emma.." she breathed quietly, her eyes softening with concern. "You are a _very_ brave woman, but you can't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders."

Their gazes held for a moment, then Emma slowly nodded her head. She knew Regina was right, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with. She bit her lip, and tried to draw strength from the brunette's touch. "That's the way I've been feeling for years." she timidly confessed, her emerald eyes revealing her vulnerability.

Regina tightened her grip on Emma's knee once more, before she rubbed the same spot soothingly. Her forehead creased and she smiled a thin, kind of sad, smile. "I know, dear.."

Although she felt like crying, or screaming, a strangled laugh escaped Emma's throat. It was a weird sensation. She startled both herself and Regina. "I'm no fucking Savior, am I?" she exclaimed bitterly.

"Yes, you are.." Regina replied, almost instantly. Her deep brown eyes were fierce and protective, as if angry at the pain Emma had been experiencing for so long. "You have done so many good things to help others. You've brought so much to us all." Her tone left no room for debate. Emma swallowed hard; there were so many conflicting emotions and sensations running through her, causing her to feel both exalted and totally exhausted.

Regina's eyes were fixated on her face with an expression of such deep, such unutterable tenderness, that it made her breath catch. When the brunette spoke again, her voice was even softer, deeper. "But now it's time to think about yourself, Emma. You can be whoever you want to be. Just follow your heart and it will work out. I know you'll choose the right path." Regina held her gaze captive, willing her to see that she meant it. "Because you are good, Emma."

By now Emma's heart was racing, and she didn't dare to speak. A quiet smile drifted across her features as she recalled the moment when Regina had uttered those exact same words, feeling that same kind of warmth spreading throughout her chest.

"I know you're scared of the unknown, but it is all worth it in the end." Regina continued warmly, trying to comfort the blonde. She glanced down at her hand which still rested on Emma's knee, as she absentmindedly stroked the fabric of her jeans. "My only regret was I did not do it sooner. I could have stopped it, I could have prevented everything from ever happening, if only I had opened my heart sooner. I don't want you to have any regrets like me.."

Emma leaned forward a little with her eyes wide and brows arched. "Don't you see, Regina?" she whispered, once again looking vulnerable and broken. "I already have so many regrets. I can't stand to add another one." In one swift movement, Regina took Emma's left hand between her own. "It wasn't your fault, Emma! Can't you see that?"

But Emma just shook her head, her blond hair dancing around her shoulders. "It doesn't matter, though, does it?" she whispered, defeated, tears welling up in her eyes again. "That was it, game over. He died.. he died because of me."

She tried to pull her hand from the brunette's grasp but she wouldn't let her. She only held on tighter. Their gazes locked and Emma's stomach quivered at the raw emotion blazing in Regina's eyes, a wild mesh of feelings she couldn't even begin to describe.

"He died because of _me_!" Regina blurted out, practically yelling out the last word. "He died to save _me_!" Emma fell into shock all over again, and her jaw dropped open. She pulled it shut, and managed to shake her head in denial. She reached forward with her free hand to grasp the brunette's, and pulled both Regina's hands in hers.

"No!" she choked out, "God no, Regina! This is nowhere near your fault! There was _nothing_ you could do.." Their knees bumped as the brunette leaned forward. Her voice dipped lower to a challenging tone. "If that's the truth, Emma, then _why_ are you blaming yourself? You weren't even there! _I_ was the only one who had a chance of saving him."

Emma's forehead creased and she shook her head wildly again. "No, just.. _no_! Hades did this, _Hades_ murdered Robin!" she nearly screamed, the sureness ringing through her voice. For a tension-fraught moment their eyes remained locked together. She watched for Regina's reaction, and was taken aback by the grin that slowly spread across the woman's beautiful features.

One dark brow lifted. "I'm sorry, what did you just say?" Her brown eyes sparkled challengingly. Confused and unable to comprehend what was happening, Emma shifted in her seat. "Hades did this.." she whispered again, realization slowly dawning in her emerald eyes. She knew the brunette had her exactly where she wanted her; she had deliberately provoked this reaction. Emma didn't know whether to be angry of grateful.

"That's right, Emma. _Hades_ is the one to blame.." she said pointedly, without even blinking an eye. "And he got exactly what he deserved. It wasn't our fault. There was nothing either of us could do about it. So.. please, let it go. Just let it go."

Emma lowered her head a little and studied their hands for a minute before she answered, "I don't know if I can. I made a promise I didn't keep, and I let you down. I should have helped you find your happy ending.." Regina must have heard the pain in her voice, because she didn't hesitate with her response.

"Your job is not done, dear." Her voice was as warm and sure as she looked. "I'm familiar with your stubbornness, so I trust you won't stop trying. And someday we _will_ find it." Hope welled up in Emma's heart. _We. We will find it._ Giddy anticipation gushed through her and she quickly tempered it down.

Regina cocked her head slightly, dark eyes seeking the blonde's. "But that day is still a dream. A dream I've been pursuing for some time now, and again, there have been unexpected bends in the road. But I press on because I know I will reach my destination. I've promised myself that. Until then, I will savor my time with my family and friends, and be grateful to have them around."

For several moments Emma just gaped at her, stunned. And as the words sank slowly into her head, she realized they were true. She could see it in the brunette's eyes. _Hope. Belief. Love._ She opened and closed her mouth, but nothing came out.

Regina smiled and pulled Emma's hands deeper into her lap. "I've already told you my happy ending isn't a man. My happy ending is finally feeling at home in the world, and Robin was just a part of that." She sounded so sure, so sincere, _yet she couldn't be,_ _could she?_ "Jesus, how can you be so strong about this?" Emma heard herself saying, voice hoarse and small in her own ears.

Regina rolled her eyes and chuckled, then muttered sarcastically, "Oh, so you want me to say it out loud?" She squeezed the blonde's fingers and Emma squeezed back. "Alright, fine.. Though it pains me to say it aloud, I've learned from the best.. _your family_." She paused for a moment to allow the significance of her statement to sink in.

"I've come to realize that with all the crazy things I thought necessary to make me happy I had instead a shallow existence. You see, I've come to terms with the notion that the pursuit of happiness in itself is idiotic. And I had to learn the hard way that what's important can't be bought. Nor can it be seen. Happiness is something you feel. In fact, it can only be felt. And nothing can bring it about except you yourself."

Emma was hanging onto every word, almost breathless. Her unease had dissipated now, replaced by a strange blossoming warmth that seemed to be spreading outwards. Gradually, she felt a soft smile creep over her lips.

"Love is strength, not weakness.." Regina mused, her dark eyes piercing the blonde's. A shiver made its way down Emma's spine, and she nodded slowly. Their eyes tangled wordlessly and they shared a beautiful smile.

Regina let out a shaky, shuddering breath before she spoke again. "Do you trust me?" Her voice sounded somehow nervous. Emma blinked, confused by the question. "Yes," she whispered without the slightest hesitation, "Of course I do." Regina tried to say something but ended up just smiling a beautiful, bashful smile.

"Why do you ask?" Emma said quietly, entranced by the brunette's smile, her eyes, not to mention the fact that they were close, _so close_. Something dropped to the floor beside them. It clattered and rolled, stopping at her feet. She didn't even flinch, so mesmerized was she by the intensity of Regina's expression. The air between them crackled with all the things they'd tried so hard to ignore- lust, need, and something much more frightening than mere affection.

She gasped when Regina reached down between her legs, and picked up something from the floor. The brunette looked down at her hand and smirked. "What are you going to do with that?" Emma nodded towards the tiny bottle in her hand. Regina's smirk, somehow- Emma didn't know how- widened even further. "Take off your shirt, dear."

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

**Part Thirteen**

 _Emma gasped when Regina reached down between her legs, and picked up something from the floor. The brunette looked down at her hand and smirked. "What are you going to do with that?" Emma nodded towards the tiny bottle in her hand. Regina's smirk, somehow- Emma didn't know how- widened even further. "Take off your shirt, dear."_

Emma caught her breath with an audible gasp. A wave of shock and anticipation assaulted her. A melting heat settled in her core, and her jaw dropped open. _Did she really just say that?_ She blinked several times and then her eyes searched Regina's face for… _something_. Her heart was racing wildly. She wanted to look away, but couldn't even pretend not to stare. And the brunette was definitely looking back. Watching her with a mix of curiosity and something she couldn't begin to define.

They shared a small, almost secret smile. A smile filled with infinite possibilities. Emma inhaled a deep breath, exhaling slowly. She raised her brow and glanced down at the tiny bottle in Regina's hand. Her heartbeat quickened even faster, jumping into an exited rhythm as the puzzle pieces started falling into place. _Oh fuck, I'm screwed! Now I'm really screwed._ She tried to get a grip on her emotions, but all she really wanted to get a grip on was Regina.

"A massage? Really?" she asked, feigning indifference. Excitement and anticipation hummed through her blood, driving her temperature higher. There was a hesitation, and then the brunette smiled broadly and nodded, her eyes never leaving the blonde's face for a moment.

Emma shifted her weight in her seat and could almost see the sparks of challenge that flew between them. She could see herself reflected in Regina's face too, or, rather, the way she was feeling about her. It was there in the glint in her eyes and in the faint curve that remained on her mouth.

 _Challenge accepted_ , she thought silently, although she knew it would probably be the hardest challenge of her life. But she needed this; she needed to feel something again other than worry and pain and distress. She needed to be touched. She needed to have physical contact in a way that made her feel alive. She needed to feel something in the world that could still be beautiful.

In an instant she drew up all the strength she had and made up her mind. She _wanted_ to feel the sensation of Regina's fingers skating across her skin. She _wanted_ to face her fears and conquer them. She _wanted_ the brunette to see her as she truly was, and not what she needed to be or what others said she was.

She refocused her eyes on Regina's, brown meeting emerald in silent agreement. Tension crackled in the air between them. Tension born and raised on years of denial. It was so tempting, not to mention satisfying, to simply move into the brunette's arms. Tempting, but stupid. She had to remember that. Swallowing hard, she cleared her throat and whispered, "You don't need to do this.." She wasn't sure if she was talking to Regina or herself.

Regina's head tilted, and she could almost hear the words and thoughts that weren't developed racing through her mind. Questions she couldn't answer. Every time they were together it was new- they were forever entering unfamiliar territory. All lines and boundaries seemed to vanish between them as their relationship grew and their love deepened.

She swallowed again, fighting against the tightening in her stomach at the curve of Regina's lips, the way her lashes fluttered ever so softly when she blinked, the way her eyes were sparkling and crinkled at the corners while she smiled at her.

"I want to," Regina said at last, her voice warm and sure. Emma's heart skipped a few beats and, with trembling hands, she lifted and pulled her shirt over her head, taking both herself and Regina by surprise as dark brown eyes widened at her boldness. She dropped the garment casually on the floor beside her with a self-satisfied smirk on her face. She had no idea what had gotten into her, flirting with the brunette like that. But she couldn't help herself.

She watched her for a moment, pleased to see her a little flustered. It was nice to know she affected her in such a way, just as Regina affected her. She felt that tingling pulse at her center again and knew whatever the brunette wanted to do to her, _with her_ , she wanted it, too.

She'd never been so torn. Body and mind at war, Emma was really worried- and maybe even more excited- that her body was going to win this battle. She could almost feel the woman's eyes burning into her skin, causing goosebumps to erupt like wildfire across every inch of her flesh. Her nipples strained tight, aching against the lace of her bra. She closed her eyes and inhaled through her nose.

The floor was cold to her bare feet when she kicked her boots off, but she didn't mind. Regina's eyes seemed to devour her and she felt breathless under their powerful scrutiny. Whatever had been seeded between them had blossomed into an even more painfully intense electricity that arced between them now.

She slowly stood up from her chair, wearing only a lacy black bra and jeans slung low on her hips. Her thick blond hair was falling over her bare shoulders, caressing her, softly tickling her skin. Her muscles flexed and pulsed with every step. She was acutely aware of Regina's smoldering look following her, her eyes traveling over her body, speculations and desire burning in the depths of her brown eyes.

She knew her breathing was quick, her pulse pounding, her body ready for the brunette. Her body was practically humming with anticipation, hungry for a touch, for release. She felt alive in every cell of her body and she'd never felt that way before. She closed her eyes for a second before turning back around.

When she looked at Regina once more, it was to find her eyes moving down her body hungrily, as she took in all the contours of her shapely female frame. She mentally high-fived herself. Her body was one of the few things she did like about herself. She was reasonably tall and her exercising showed through on her physique. Her body was strong and beautiful; it was the one thing in her life that had never let her down.

She shuddered, not from the cold but from a coil of heat spreading through her. She felt as if Regina's every stare across the full length of her body was a direct touch. She straightened her back, her chest and abdomen heaving, her breasts hard nippled. The sensation of power lingered and then amplified. She completely and utterly had the brunette's attention here. She held her gaze, quite deliberately sliding her hands down her hips. Watching Regina watch her, her eyes smoky and wanting, was almost her undoing.

"Very well.." came Regina's only response, with her voice sounding deep and thick with emotion. Then she seemed to shake herself together, standing up, moving her hand through her dark hair. Her eyes were wide and stormy now, as she motioned to the bed. "Lie down, please."

Again Emma did as she was told, the excitement rising in her. She slowly crawled up onto the bed, and lay down on her stomach. She sighed, not knowing when she had felt such a luxurious material against her heated skin. Her hands, reaching back to unclasp her bra, seemed to have a mind of their own again. She lifted her upper body, removed her bra, and tossed it on the floor.

"Well, aren't we feeling bold today," Regina drawled, her voice sounding strained and hoarse. Emma chuckled, and she was pleased to hear her tone deepen, indicating she was just as affected by what was going on as she was. The bed dipped and she could feel the brunette's weight pressing her deeper into the mattress as she straddled her ass. She suppressed the instant shiver and sucked in a sharp breath.

Regina flicked her wrist and the lights dimmed around them. "This oil has special properties that will make you feel good." she whispered, rubbing her palms together, and the scent of jasmine and something spicy rose to perfume the air. Emma held herself still as a bird in a hand, waiting for the brunette's move. She didn't realize that she had squeezed her eyes shut and was taking deep breaths through her nose until Regina's voice sounded again.

"Just relax, Emma.." she whispered, her voice so close to her ear that it made her shiver. Regina chuckled in response. Emma placed her arms above her head and nuzzled her face into the pillow as her hair splayed all around. She willed her heart to stop racing and her body to relax and stop twitching. _But how the hell was she supposed to do that when the brunette's body was pressed so deliciously against hers?_

She could swear she felt heat emanating from deep between Regina's thighs, her arousal ratcheting up to a whole new level. Unconsciously, her back curved, her ass turned up, and pressed against the brunette. She could hear Regina's intake of breath, and felt her shift a little, before she brushed her center over the swell of her ass. An involuntary gasp escaped the blonde; the flood of moisture between her thighs was instantaneous. _Oh God, how am I going to survive this? This woman drives me totally wild!_ Her body was burning, aching. In fact, she seemed to be on the verge of a climax already and Regina hadn't so much as touched her.

Regina kept up her teasing movements until Emma's hips jerked once, then twice, in response. She heard the woman's soft chuckle before she settled back on her ass again. Emma thought she was going to faint. _But no, she couldn't faint. Then she would miss this._ She trembled, feeling the warmth of the woman's oiled hands as they started to explore her body. She worked the oil smoothly into her skin, her fingers spreading out like fans, gliding across the muscles, making the blonde groan with relief.

"You need this," Regina whispered, almost to herself. "You're even more tense than I realized." Emma nodded and sighed quietly as the brunette kneaded her shoulders, working some of the tension out. She fell into the massage, letting herself live in the moment and forget everything else. She focused on Regina's touch, the way her hands felt on her skin, the weight of her as she partially rested on her ass. The movement of her hands and the magic touch of her fingers lulled her into a state of relaxation. But as she eased down her body, her arousal grew.

The brunette ran her hands over every inch of bare skin she could find, Emma's body scorching hot beneath her fingertips. The gentle kneading motions were almost too much to bear. "You'd let me know if I ever make you feel uncomfortable, right?" Regina's voice was unusually soft.

Emma slowly opened her eyes and turned her head to look at the brunette. Their eyes locked intensely. Regina's face was slightly flushed, and her incredible brown eyes were flashing with so many emotions- curiosity, surprise, uncertainty, and something else. _Lust._ It wasn't an emotion she saw the brunette wear too often, but her eyes had shown it and she had seen it. She couldn't deny it, even if she wished so.

"Yeah, no worries, Regina. I'm good… _more_ than good." she admitted sheepishly. The smile which crossed the brunette's face warmed Emma to the very soul. They stared at each other another moment or two before the blonde dragged her gaze away. She nuzzled her cheek against the impossible softness of her pillow, and shivered as Regina's hands smoothed over her skin again.

The brunette became more insistent in her ministrations and Emma grew more and more frantic in her movements. She shuddered at the intimacy of her touch, the way her hands caressed her waist, the way her fingers touched the very side of her breasts. Regina's fingers lingered there for a moment, teasing, challenging, tantalizing. With butterfly lightness they skidded across her sensitive skin, tracing the outline of her breasts.

Emma slowly lifted her upper body and shivered as the brunette's warm hands cupped her breasts, kneading the mounds and taking her breath away. She gasped, stilling as she tried to absorb the sensations Regina created. She pinched her nipples between her thumb and forefinger, applying gentle pressure. Emma groaned, her hips shifting restlessly, trying to ease the ache between her thighs. She wanted the brunette to take her and leave her sated and breathless.

She never imagined how good sex could be and this was only foreplay. If she stopped now, she didn't think she'd ever be able to pick up the pieces. Regina's hands continued to massage and caress her breasts, making her nipples painfully erect with the pleasure of her touch. "Does it feel wrong?" the brunette whispered into her ear. Emma whimpered, her body shuddering.

Regina smiled and moved her hands around the blonde's waist ending at the perfect swell of her ass. Her fingers dipped under the waistband of her jeans, and Emma turned her head to look at her. "It feels good," she breathed, her heart almost jumping out of her chest. "That's why it's wrong."

Once again, their eyes connected deeply as the world around them seemed to stop. Emma let out a heavy breath as Regina ran her fingers down her bare skin. "Let me make you feel good, Emma, just for a little while. We can be miserable again when it's over."

Emma's heart jumped at the brunette's words. She struggled to breathe, caught between what felt right and what seemed right. "But.."

"Sssh..." Regina whispered, cupping the firm mounds of her ass and caressing them through her jeans. "Stop analyzing everything. Just let me do this for you. If it stops feeling good, tell me and I won't do it anymore."

"You give me no choice.." Emma whimpered, closing her eyes as another shiver racked her body. "…but to carry the guilt." She felt wildly aroused, submissive, despite herself. She felt all her restraints melting away in the heat of the passion she'd been denying.

She felt herself weaken beneath the brunette, her body so ready for her that she thought she might climax simply for her touch. She arched her back and pressed her ass against Regina, before she turned and lay down on her back. Their gazes locked, and the woman's shimmering brown eyes were glazed as she drank in the sight of her half-naked body. She felt heat rise in her cheeks, unable to avoid blushing at the brunette's frank, admiring stare.

Regina moved back a little, so she was straddling the blonde's thighs. A smile teased her lips before she swept her gaze back over her body. Tilting her head, Emma watched Regina gently place a hand between her breasts. _Was her hand quivering? Could that even be possible? I can't imagine Regina trembling… ever._

She softly ran her fingers over her already sensitive breasts, teasing her nipples. Emma quivered at her touch and let out a soft cry. Regina just kept her eyes on her face; her eyes were dark, nearly black in the dimmed light of the room. Fingers danced across her stomach, leaving a trail of tingling heat on her skin. She grazed the flesh under the waist of Emma's jeans, sending electrical tremors that culminated between her thighs.

Emma's head lolled back, and she reveled in the way Regina touched her, both physically and mentally. No one had ever taken this much time touching her body or even to just look at her. The brunette's eyes penetrated deeper than she'd ever thought possible, and the way her fingers fluttered made her feel cherished and precious- making her want things, sexual things she'd only ever read about.

"If I give you no choice, dear," Regina finally countered, rubbing another drop of jasmine oil between her hands. "..the guilt's mine to bear." Their eyes met for a second; then the brunette began at the base of her neck and massaged it into the tops of her breasts, which began to heave, at her touch. Emma's breath was coming in short gasps.

"You're so beautiful.." Regina whispered in wonder. Her voice was so quiet Emma wasn't sure if she was actually speaking out loud or if she only imagined it. She smoothed the oil in upward strokes over her breasts, taking her time and gently tweaking her nipples into hard points. Emma moaned softly at the stimulation. The brunette's hands swept over the underside of her breasts, cupped them, and squeezed gently. She noticed Regina's breath sounding a little rough as she whispered, "Tell me it doesn't feel good, and I'll stop."

"It feels _too_ good," Emma breathed. She reared up the woman's touch, dragging in a sharp breath. Goose bumps broke out on her skin. She started to pant, her heart beating so hard it was a wonder it didn't burst through her rib cage. Her head drooped and she flopped back onto the pillow behind her. "I-I think I need this." she blurted out before she could stop herself. She knew it was wrong, she knew it was stupid, but hell, she wanted this.

Regina began to thrust against her, tiny, almost involuntary motions of her hips. But Emma was so wound up, had been for so long, that even that pushed her close to the edge. All of her pulsed in time with Regina's movements, bringing her close to a climax.

Her body was responding in ways she never thought it could. The way the brunette's hands felt squeezing her breasts and pinching her nipples made her need for release even faster. The oil created a fiery tingle that made every nerve ending sizzle with sensation. She writhed on the bed, trying to find relief from the tension that coiled deep inside her. Liquid heat pooled between her legs and she pressed her thighs together to ease the ache that had set up a distinctive throb inside her. _Oh God, it was too much.. And not enough!_

Regina brushed her hands across her breasts and down her stomach before stopping at the button on her jeans. "Do you want me to continue?" she breathed, her eyes deep brown and full of passion. Emma couldn't find any words so she nodded _yes_ , and Regina proceeded. Anticipation flooded through her. The instant explosion of hunger.. need.. arousal stunned her, sent her head spinning.

Regina's delicate hands unbuttoned her jeans, and the blonde's eyes were watching her intently. _Take them off. Take them off and make love to me_ , she silently pleaded. Slowly Regina slid down the zipper and pushed her jeans down her thighs. Emma lifted her hips and wiggled her legs to help her. She wore a black pair of lace panties. And they were tiny. Barely covering the most private parts of her body.

After she dropped her jeans on the floor, Regina smoothed her hands over her bare thighs. Emma's breasts rose and fell as her breathing deepened. The brunette's hands travel higher, until her fingertips reached her aching core. Emma moaned softly at the new sensations she was experiencing. Fire spread quickly through her, settling in her stomach as it engulfed her. It was powerful, breathtaking. She pushed her center hungrily against Regina's hand, eager to feel her.

As if the brunette sensed her need, she shifted slightly, slid her hand between her legs, and cupped her throbbing sex. Even through her panties Emma felt her juices running down her skin. Regina's fingers caressed her through the lace, teased her. She arched her hips against the brunette's hand, whimpering, her hands grabbing the covers. She bit her lower lip, and fluttered her eyelashes as her eyes rolled back in ecstasy.

"Emma.. " Regina breathed, leaning down a little. "How long has it been?" Emma swallowed, she couldn't remember feeling this way before; she was more aroused than she had ever been in her life. Regina stared down at her for a moment before she slowly pulled back, and hooked her fingers in her lacy panties.

She held Emma's gaze while she eased the panties down her hips, inhaling deeply while doing so. "You smell good.." the brunette whispered in a tone with so much desire it made her body tremble. Her legs fell on either side of Regina's, the sensitive skin of her thighs brushing against the woman's jeans. The position opened her, cool air brushing against the lips of her sex and making her gasp. Regina leaned forward, held her gaze and whispered, "You have no idea how much I want to taste you right now.."

With the palms of her hands she gently eased her legs further apart. Emma stopped breathing, anticipating her next move. A rush of air gusted from her lungs when Regina's fingers slipped between her thighs. She parted her soaked folds and stroked though her wetness with a light touch. Emma whimpered, riding the wave of erotic fire that swept through her.

Regina's dark eyes were fixated on her, watching her every move. She circled her clit lightly, occasionally pressing down before continuing her torture. "Keep… don't stop," Emma begged, arching her hips into the brunette's hand, trying to get her to stroke her harder, to get her off and ease this ache. She moaned, the sound loud and slightly embarrassing in the quiet of their hotel room.

Before she could catch her breath, Regina slowly pressed a finger inside her body, gliding it out and back in. Emma's arms fell to the pillows and she moaned; she was drowning in sensations, lost to all reason. There was nothing, _nothing_ in the universe except what she was feeling now- as if her whole body were one whole, sweet mesh of soft, liquid pleasure that suffused every cell, every fiber of her being.

Her hips bucked. Her heart pounded. Tremors raced up and down her spine and shook her to the very core. When Regina added another finger into her creamy dampness, she mewled. She was so slick with her own juices that her body was making soft sucking noises, as if greedy for the woman's fingers.

Regina stretched her, her fingers delving deeper, ever so slowly. Emma met her every movement, and as more wetness flowed from her body, she lifted her hips to drive her deeper. The brunette's hips bucked against her hand to add some more pressure as she pushed into her again, knuckle deep, and slowly pulled out, dragging her fingers against her inner walls with practiced precision.

"More.. I need more.." Emma whimpered, her body shuddering. She stared up into Regina's face, her eyes twinkling as she smiled down at her. Then she added another finger and thrust into her. Emma sucked in a deep breath as she stretched and filled her. Instead of moving, the brunette stayed inside her and strummed her clit with her thumb. Gently and much too slowly.

Her body was jerking against Regina's hand before she pumped her fingers back and forth, giving the blonde as much pleasure as she possible could. Emma's cries grew more frantic, more frequent, and her hips began to roll against her fingers, adding her own pleasure. The brunette drove her fingers into her over and over, fucking her with her hand, watching her responses.

Emma felt her muscles gripping Regina's fingers, pulsing, her release building deep inside her. She craved release, but she hadn't been able to find it, until now. _And it scared the shit out of her._ "I can't, Regina.." she panted, pushing against her, trying to drive her fingers further into her slick, wet heat. Her entire body quivered. Her breasts heaved and she couldn't stop the helpless jerk of her hips.

"Can't what, dear?" Regina whispered hoarsely. She searched Emma's face for any trace of pain or discomfort, but couldn't find any. She twisted her fingers inside the blonde, her thumb brushing her clit again, her juices flowing so freely that it almost felt as though she had cum. "I can't… I can't let go.." Emma breathed, gripping the covers tightly to anchor herself.

"You don't have to." Regina assured, her voice deep and warm. "But I believe you _can_ do it.." Her thrusts slowed, went deeper, rubbing against exactly the right spot at exactly the right speed. She smoothed her free hand over her flat stomach and up to her breast. She pinched her nipple and whispered, "Let it go, Emma.."

Emma closed her eyes as her stomach tightened, her whole body tightened. Fire spread through her. Hot, raging fire that consumed everything in its path. It was a whole new kind of feeling, one so powerful she'd never felt before. It was so intense that she barely felt the brunette take her hand and entwine their fingers together. It wasn't until her emerald eyes locked with Regina's brown ones that she couldn't hold on any longer.

The pressure snapped, and she yelled as her climax thundered through her body. A lightning storm of pleasure making her every nerve crackle and sputter as spasm caught her up, and she convulsed around Regina's fingers. The brunette smiled, not stopping the motion of her fingers, letting her ride out her orgasm. Emma bit her lip, waiting for the storm to pass and wishing it never would.

* * *

 _Please let me know what you think!_

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

**Part Fourteen**

 _I'm sorry for the delay, but here's another chapter for you. Thanks again for all your support!_

* * *

Emma found herself sitting all alone on a bar stool in one of the resort's bars. She sat there as the music and the chatter filled the air, constantly replaying the evening in her mind. She realized that not only was her head spinning, but at this point her world just spun off its axis. She was learning things about herself that she had never known, like the fact that she had a very graphic imagination.

She shivered and tried not to recall how Regina's hands had felt on her body. Tried even harder not to remember how her hands had felt on her breasts as they massaged her nipples into hard, throbbing nubs. For what seemed like hours the brunette had used only her hands, and touched her in places she'd never thought of as erotic. Playing her body as if it were a finely tuned instrument, she'd been building her to a fever pitch of sexual need, then soothed and calmed her, only to build up her passion again. Emma wanted to deny it, but she'd felt the brunette's love in every touch, she'd seen the passion in her dark eyes and the tightness of her jaw.

It almost felt like a dream, a really, _really_ good dream. The things she'd experienced had been beyond her imagination. Until this moment she hadn't known it was possible to feel this way- to feel utterly safe and protected and yet to be certain her world was falling apart. Because, in the back of her mind, she knew it was wrong to be doing this. She shouldn't be shivering with uncontrollable desire, shouldn't be seeing images of herself and Regina making delicious love all night.. But she was and she did, and she couldn't seem to stop. How, ow _how_ , could she have let this happen?

She picked up her glass of whiskey and downed half of it. Her eyes watered and she choked back a cough. God, she hated the taste of whiskey. It burned like fire on the way down, numbing everything as is went. Numb was good. She could do numb. She couldn't feel any worse than she did right now. Her emotions were all over the place and she hated feeling this way. She took another long swig and grimaced, kicking her feet against the bar. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and bit down on it, willing herself not to cry.

She had no idea how long she'd been sitting there, staring blankly into space. She only knew that she needed to get away from Regina. The farther, the better. She knew that if she stayed another minute in that room with her, she'd be begging the brunette to touch her again in that way. And she couldn't do that. She couldn't ask her to slide her fingers inside her, to make her feel like absolutely nothing else in the world existed or mattered.

She had the sense that was all she could ask, that if she begged her to take off her clothes, to make passionate love to her, she would exceed the fragile limits of Regina's self-imposed standards of… something. Decency? For she was decent. Or perhaps they were the standards of martyrdom- which thought made her ill on the brunette's behalf. She was afraid she might ask her to do more than she was capable of, that Regina would give her more than she already had. She hated herself for wanting things she knew she wasn't supposed to want.

She felt restless. On edge. Because she wanted to touch the brunette so badly she was actually shaking with the intensity of her need. But instead she did what she'd always done best. She ran. She needed to start organizing her crazy, upside-down life. She needed to walk away. Before Regina did. Let yourself care about people and they leave. Or die. Same difference. She wasn't completely certain why she felt so angry. She only knew that she _was_. Angry. Embarrassed. Mortified. But it was deeper than that.

She thought she understood passion. But never had she felt it quite like this. Never had she been taken to the top of a mountain and exploded into the stars. Never had she felt so filled, so sated. But she also felt something else. Defeated. Defeated by her own desperate need. Not by a need for lust, as she had thought, for she understood now it was not passion she had yearned so desperately, but _love_. It was love she had never found with Neal. Nor was it something she would ever find with Killian.

Something, some invisible part of her had entangled itself with Regina, and she would never have it back. Enmeshed, entwined, twisted. _She had fallen in love._ The very last thing she wanted. And the worst of it was, a part of her liked it. It was a dangerous line they were crossing, but part of her didn't care. Maybe it was because she finally allowed herself to feel, for once not thinking or caring about the consequences of her actions. She couldn't explain the psychology of that, didn't even want to try. It was probably something dark and deep ingrained in her psych.

And that made her feel angry again, angry with herself for being selfish, for being weak. Constantly putting others first became such an ingrained habit that it was almost natural. Helping others was something she was destined to do, she was _the Savior_ for Christ's sake. Regina was distracting her from everything that should be top priority in her life right now. She was a distraction she couldn't afford. She had been reckless, but there was still time to stop things now, before they went any further.

And more importantly, how could she allow herself to seek comfort in the brunette's arms when she was already involved with Killian? She couldn't believe she'd put her own needs above his. It was so unlike her, but it felt like a release, like the tight binding holding her had suddenly snapped, just a little, just one single thread, but it felt so right, and so unbelievably good.

But no matter how much she ached for Regina, she wasn't going to give in. She just couldn't do it. She didn't have the right. She'd made too many wrong choices. The choice to take Killian as her lover had been wrong. At least, it had been made for the wrong reasons. Yes, she'd loved him. She still did. But she had chosen to take him as her lover to take the fear of it all away, to make her feel that nothing could harm her, to make her feel like she belonged.

But he had never fully understood her pain, her fears. He never fully understood _her_. And it wasn't even his fault. Not really. She never gave him the chance to do so. For so many years she'd kept her distance from everyone, including him. She'd never allowed him access to the deepest parts of herself, parts she did not want exposed, not even to herself.

And that was exactly why it scared her to death that Regina could read her so easily. All her carefully constructed walls seemed to crumble around her. Feelings that she hadn't allowed in years came tumbling out. It made her realize what had been wrong all this time. For so many years, she had been pretending that nothing had happened to her. She had been trying to be something other than what she was. Or maybe not other, but _less_. And now she knew the truth. And she just couldn't handle it.

She let out a groan and glanced around the establishment. Two woman at the end of the bar were leaning into one another, whispering. They looked so carefree and happy, so immersed in each other, that Emma felt a small pang of jealousy inside her chest. She pictured herself sitting beside Regina, hugging her, kissing her. God, what was she thinking? It just wasn't in the cards for them to be together.

As she gulped down the last of her drink, she motioned for the bartender to refill her glass. He eyed her curiously for a moment, then nodded. He reached over and filled her glass, all the while smiling warmly at her. She felt uneasy under his scrutiny and shifted on her stool. She flashed him a brief smile before taking another long swig of her whiskey. When he turned away from her, she breathed a sigh of relief. She couldn't do small talk right now. She closed her eyes and took another sip, this time actually tasting it. She scrunched her nose in disgust.

"Emma.." At the sound of a familiar voice behind her, the skin prickled at the nape of her neck, and she gasped. Immediately, her heartrate picked up and she gripped her glass tightly, trying to gain strength from it, from anything, to see her through this. She clenched her eyes shut even tighter.

She almost jumped out of her skin when she felt Regina's hand resting against her shoulder. "Are you okay?" the brunette asked tentatively, while she slowly took a seat beside her. She could feel Regina studying her, those dark eyes searching her face for clues about her thoughts. She could actually _feel_ her, lurking at the periphery of her mind, trying to get in.

"Regina, please.. I can't…" she croaked out without looking at her. She took another large gulp of whiskey, desperate for something to numb the ache that was weighing her heart. When the brunette finally removed her hand, Emma was on the verge of tears, not wanting the brunette to touch her but needing her to touch her at the same time.

"Emma, please, just talk to me.." Regina nearly begged, reaching out to her once again. Emma flinched when the brunette touched her arm and she moved away from her, desperate to keep a safe distance between them. She closed her eyes and willed her body to calm. No matter how much she wanted it, no matter how much she needed it, she just couldn't handle being touched right now.

She laid her hands flat on the bar, and her blonde hair fell around her face as she hung her head. She could feel herself trembling. Shaking. She took a moment to compose herself, and when she finally looked up again, she caught the hurt look on Regina's face. It made her feel terrible. She could see her internal debate, her forehead creasing, her stormy brown eyes swirling with emotions she could not conceal.

They looked at each other for a long while, unsure what to do next. Emma swallowed down the lump in her throat, blinking her eyes fast to keep tears from filling them. She just wanted things to go back to the way they were. She couldn't handle any more tension right now. She loved Regina, but she didn't know what to do with that. She didn't want to let her in, but at the same time, her body told her otherwise.

"I'm sorry, Regina. I didn't mean.. I just.." she whispered in a trembling tone. Her voice trailed off, and she lowered her head again, unable to say what she wanted to say. Regina held her hands together in her lap to stop them from shaking, but she kept fidgeting.

Silence lingered between them- silence and hurt, possibly hopeless hurt. Emma wasn't sure. Unconsciously, she held her breath, bracing herself to hear the brunette's voice. Just hearing the woman's voice made her stupid heart speed up; it always had, right from the start.

"I think I've made a terrible, terrible mistake.." Regina whispered, and Emma shivered despite herself. The brunette sounded like she was about to cry, which immediately caught her attention. Her eyes snapped up to Regina's, an uncertain expression shifting over her face. "I knew what I was doing was against the _rules_.. But please believe me when I tell you that I did it for all the right reasons.."

Regina held her gaze and Emma's heart pounded. And as she read the truth in her eyes, she felt her own fill with tears again. Because she knew at that moment just how much she'd hurt the brunette by walking away from her. She watched the war of emotions play out on her face.

"I _never_ should have done what I did," Regina continued quietly, her eyes downcast in what looked like shame. "I'm sorry, Emma. I was out of line.. Our friendship is important to me, and I don't want to jeopardize it."

Emma shook her head, unsure how else to respond. This was wrong, it all felt so horribly _wrong_. Obviously Regina blamed herself for everything that had happened. But she wasn't to blame. Not really. Although her methods were unorthodox, she was only trying to help her. And she had succeeded, albeit only temporarily, to make her forget all her troubles.

"I know… Don't be sorry.." Emma choked out, searching for the right words to say. Part of her wanted to thank the brunette. Thank her for making her feel things she had never felt before. Sensations she hadn't known were possible. But at the same time, she wanted to run and hide.

And yet, a very real part of her wanted to ask the brunette to stay with her. Stay long enough to let her heal, let her breathe again. She'd silently asked Regina to make her forget, to take her away from the world for a while. Instead, though she'd driven her senseless, she'd brought her back to the world. With all its hurts, its despairs. And, most frightening of all, all the world's hopes. She didn't want hopes- except for Henry and her family- and she trembled at the feeling of them.

"Why.. I-I just can't believe you would do something like that for me." Emma whispered, almost to herself. She blinked her eyes, as if just now processing what all of it meant. She tilted her head sideways and crinkled her forehead as she stared into the brunette's eyes. "Why would you bend the rules for me?"

Regina blinked a few times, but she didn't answer, she just looked at her. Her throat raw, Emma searched the brunette's gaze, her mind spinning with questions she wasn't sure she wanted to ask. She saw something flash in those brown depths, the tiny smile that lit her features just before the brunette looked away again. While normally she could read her mind, right now she had no clue what Regina was thinking or feeling.

After a few seconds of silence, Emma chanced a glance in her direction again. She caught the brunette's eye and quickly looked away. "I truly am sorry.." Regina's words were so quiet Emma barely heard them. Impulsively, she reached out and gently took the brunette's hand in hers.

"Stop," she whispered, their eyes meeting once again. "We're both adults. And I didn't exactly stop you.. You didn't do anything wrong, okay?" She squeezed her hand reassuringly and Regina glanced down as a faint smile moved across her lips. "Okay," she breathed out.

They held each other's hand tightly, both seeming lost in their own thoughts. Emma had no idea how much time had passed until she heard herself whispering, "I don't want to stop what we're doing.." Her heart raced as the brunette looked up and their eyes met. A look of complete surprise spread over her face. Emma's breath caught in her throat when she saw what looked like desire flicker briefly in her deep brown eyes before it disappeared.

"Me neither." Regina whispered hoarsely, her gaze penetrating the blonde's deepest desires. The words echoed in Emma's head, and after a moment of shock, relief and anticipation flooded through her. She swallowed thickly, suddenly very aware of their close proximity. She smiled nervously and shrugged. "So… What now?"

A shy smile crossed the brunette's beautiful features. "Don't know," she muttered quietly. They released simultaneous sighs and leaned into the bar, side by side.

* * *

Several shots later Emma and Regina were still leaning on the bar, arguing about how to make a Pina Colada. Suddenly, Regina got a funny look in her eyes as she stared over the blonde's shoulder, and then fell silent. She inhaled deeply and her eyes widened almost comically. Something crossed her features very briefly and then disappeared.

Emma frowned and followed the brunette's line of sight to the other side of the bar. She tried to ignore the way her heart skipped a beat at the sight of the two women she'd noticed before; they were making out heavily. A familiar heat coiled low in her belly, and she clenched her thighs together. She seemed almost transfixed, wide-eyed, as she watched them kiss each other lasciviously. She felt an embarrassing flood of wetness gather between her legs. _Oh, for fuck's sake! Perfect. Just perfect._

She took a huge gulp of her drink, downing almost all of it. She heard Regina clear her throat and automatically turned back toward her. Their eyes locked for just the briefest moment, but in that short space of time she knew the brunette was feeling the same way. She couldn't help the wide-ass grin from spreading across her face and chuckled softly. Regina pursed her lips and she scrunched her nose at her, before she smiled almost nervously.

"I wish I could be like that.." Emma quietly confessed, motioning toward the two women. ".. so carefree, so happy." She snorted at her own words and downed the last of her drink. The liquor slid down her throat much easier than it had before.

Before Regina could respond, Emma spoke again. "But who am I kidding, right? That will never be me.." She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. "Maybe I'm not supposed to be happy."

"Yes, you are, Emma!" Regina exclaimed, pinning the blonde with her stare. "You've got your son, you've got your family and… a man who loves you very much." Despite her obvious reluctance to say that last part out loud, the brunette gave her the faintest of smiles. Not much, little more than a softening in her eyes, but still a smile. She didn't know how Regina did it. But it altered something inside her. Something broke. She didn't know what it was but she could feel its edges splitting apart, sharp and painful within herself, and she found tears suddenly stifling her throat.

A small, choked sob escaped her and she buried her face in her hands. "I'm so fucked up, everything is so fucked up! You've got me so confused I don't know what I'm doing! What kind of person am I?!"

Regina could only stare at her for a second, at a complete loss for words. She half opened her mouth, her lips moved, but no sound came out. She slowly reached out her hand but only moved a few inches nearer. She stilled her hand in midair, and balled her fingers into a fist before retreating once again. She watched Emma closely and for a long moment she seemed conflicted. There was something she wanted to say, but after a silent battle with herself she stayed quiet.

Without taking her eyes from the blonde's form, Regina inched herself as close as she could to Emma without actually touching her. She flinched slightly when the blonde spoke again. "I thought I'd lost him forever, and it almost killed me. And now that I have him back… I just..." Emma's voice trailed off for a moment. She lifted her head slowly to look up at the brunette. She seemed so exhausted. Her eyes swollen and red.

"I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. I _really_ did.. But when I look at Killian now I don't feel like that at all. I don't know why, I just.. I just feel like I don't know where I belong. I keep making mistakes. I can't believe I've been given a second chance at things and still can't seem to get anything right. I feel guilty for having him back, and not _wanting_ him. I feel guilty for having fun without him and not even thinking about him."

Regina was looking at her with so much understanding, that she suddenly found her tears spilling over. Without thinking, the brunette reached out to wipe away the tear tracks on her cheeks. "You shouldn't feel guilty for having fun." As the pad of Regina's thumb slid across her cheek, Emma's breath hitched, their eyes holding each other unblinking.

 _How had they gotten this close?_ Emma's damp eyes dipped down to the brunette's lips, then back up. What she wouldn't give to pull her against her and taste those full lips. Just once. Would that hurt anything? She'd never allowed herself to be so free and unrestrained. The feeling was never as wild and frantic and breathlessly desperate as it was right now. Regina made her forget all het resolve, all her good sense. She'd made her want the brunette with a desire she couldn't control. It frightened her. She was afraid to let go, afraid to open her heart and soul.

"I can't allow myself to feel like this." she breathed out. She turned towards the brunette's hand, leaning into her touch. Regina stilled, and her eyes sparkled as she searched the blonde's face. Emma felt her senses spinning out of control; it was as if her body and mind were battling to take control over her will, and her body was winning. She wrapped her arms around Regina, and let her hands travel up and down her spine. "But I can't stay away from you.." Her imagination ran wild as she felt the brunette move closer to her.

"Emma.." Regina whispered, capturing her face between her hands to raise her head until she met her deep brown eyes again. So beautiful, surrounded by the think fringe of black lashes that made the hue even more startling. Regina's gaze dipped down to her mouth for a moment, and she felt her touch deep in the pit of her stomach. A delicious curl of warmth spread through her abdomen. She wanted this. Wanted her.

Regina looked deep into her eyes, her thumbs wiping away the last of her tears. "It's okay to feel, Emma," she murmured quietly. The brunette's hands cradled her face almost lovingly, her thumbs slowly skimming over her cheekbones while she placed a slow, lingering kiss against her parted lips then leaned back. Emma rose up blindly, reaching for the brunette. Her eyes were wide in surprise and arousal. Her heart was pounding, her stomach was flip-flopping, and her lungs were struggling to get oxygen.

She wanted the brunette to hold her so badly it made her hands shake. Her fingers dug into the brunette's arms, as she pulled her closer. She ached to taste her lips again, this time to actually feel and absorb the kiss- she'd been too stunned to reciprocate. She leaned closer, but before she could press her lips to the brunette's, Regina shook her head, and gently caged her in her arms.

"Ssh, I know, dear. But not here," she whispered hoarsely against her temple, stroking her hair, her back. Breathing fast, heart pounding, Emma struggled to control her body's reaction. She held onto the brunette's arms and opened her eyes, feeling like she'd left her dangling at the rim of a cliff.

"I know.." Regina soothed when she opened her mouth to protest. Emma felt like crying again. Her body was on edge, miserable. It hurt to pull away from the brunette. Regina kissed her temple, her cheek. "But unless you want me to take you here and now, we'd better wait until we have some privacy."

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

**Part Fifteen**

As they made their way across the bar toward the hallway and the curving staircase, Emma could feel several sets of eyes boring into her back. Her previous giddiness dissolved, replaced by something entirely different, as a wave of self-consciousness washed over her. They were probably wondering what a stunner like Regina was doing with someone like her. She closed her eyes and tried to shake off those thoughts, but her nervousness only increased with each step she took.

The back of her hand brushed against the brunette's as they walked quietly through the hallway. Emma's breath hitched, and an electrical shock made its way up her arm to the nape of her neck. She shoved her shaking hands into her pockets and swore she heard the brunette chuckle beside her. Her heart was pounding madly, and she tried to ignore the way their shoulders brushed together ever so lightly, as if magically attached.

She didn't dare look at her. Didn't dare make eye-contact. Because if she did, she was afraid she would change her mind, afraid that _Regina_ would change her mind. Especially now, with the memory of her kiss still so raw. She couldn't handle being rejected- not again. She'd been rejected enough to last a lifetime. She could handle being dismissed by anyone except _her_ , because she was the light that had kept her going all these years.

The irony wasn't lost on her, but she had never associated the brunette with darkness. She wasn't the vicious monster everyone said she was. On the contrary, she had a beautiful soul. Her heart was more powerful than any other. Whomsoever she loved, she loved with the purity of a child. Just being around the woman brought out the best in her. She'd reached for her naturally- she felt connected to her in such a way she could not understand. Unwillingly, unwanted, she'd fallen desperately in love.

Walking close beside each other, she felt the familiar pull somewhere deep inside her soul. A pull that countered everything her head was saying. Things were moving too fast and yet they weren't moving fast enough. It was all so fucking confusing! She wanted it so badly, she could almost taste the tension and she sucked in some air, wanting to clear her mind but all she got was more of the brunette's scent.

Were they moving too fast? She worried about how it would affect their friendship and how they would move on without being awkward. She worried she wasn't good enough, worried she wouldn't live up to Regina's expectations. What if it would ruin everything between them? She couldn't lose her- she simple couldn't.

Maybe she was making too much out of this. Maybe this was what they both needed, a break from worrying about everything and everyone- to relieve the building tension between them. An itch scratched, and no more. But she knew she was being naïve. She knew that the unfamiliar sensation swelling inside her chest every time she looked at the brunette meant that her feelings for her ran a whole lot deeper than she'd ever imagined. She wanted her with a desperation she'd never before experienced. A desperation that was part physical, part emotional and part so soul-deep it frightened her. What if Regina didn't feel the same way?

It scared her how much she wanted her. How much she wanted to feel the brunette inside of her in every single way possible. How necessary it suddenly seemed. She felt alive in every cell of her body and she'd never felt that way before. Regina made her feel warm, sometimes even very intensely happy. And she'd never known such a breathtaking, all-encompassing sensation. The brunette had changed her view of the world. And herself. With her, she had dropped her guard, had discovered how to love and trust.

She was brought back to reality when she heard the door open, and followed Regina inside their room, her legs shaking, her whole body shaking, inside and out. She found she was breathless and she knew it wasn't from running up the stairs. She didn't know what might happen next. If the brunette was going to strip her of her clothing immediately and press her up against a wall. And if she did, what would she do?

But Regina didn't make a move to touch her. Instead she paused in the middle of the room, and slowly looked up at her. Her eyes darkened with an emotion she couldn't quite read. "Having second thoughts?" the brunette asked quietly, her tone neutral.

Emma swallowed hard. She swallowed her honest answer, which was most definitely _yes_. Her heart was nearly in her throat as she closed the door behind her and leaned against it to steady herself. Her breath quickened, and she had to swallow hard again to find her voice. "No," was all she could manage. Her voice sounded weak even to her own ears.

"No?" Regina whispered, moving slowly towards her. She gave the blonde a few moments to think, and now her eyes were asking questions. Emma's chest heaved and her stomach clenched. God, those eyes were piercing. They held her as much captive as bars could. She watched the brunette's eyes move up and down her body. A moan nearly escaped her lips and she knew she was blushing.

She couldn't remember how to breathe, couldn't even recall why she'd want to. The only thought in her head was to prolong this moment. She roamed her desiring eyes over every inch of the woman in front of her. _Jesus, how can you be so beautiful?_ The way she looked, the way she moved, her face. She carried herself with such poise.

Regina drew closer, her eyes sparking fire, and Emma could see the rapid rise and fall of her chest, the color in her cheeks and an intensity in her face that- _Oh God, I can't handle this._ Her heart fluttered wildly inside her chest, and her palms were damp in perspiration. Desire, like before- seductive, terrible, glorious desire. Her body had already overtaken her mind. She could take her, right here. Right now. Taste those lips again, make the woman her own, make her gasp her name and-

"Are you sure, Emma?" Regina whispered, leaning in as if to kiss her. Her voice was soft and breathy, a seductress's purr. She lifted a finger to touch her face, but held off at the last, simply ghosting the line of Emma's jaw. Goosebumps raised on her skin. Her words were a breath on the blonde's lips, an agony of thwarted desire. Even the slightest touch would undo her resolve.

She could feel the warmth of the brunette's body radiating to her. She shivered as her breasts became full and heavy while her stomach muscles clenched and her panties grew damp. She pressed her thighs together, putting pressure on her clit. That only made the tingles racing along the base of her back and inner thighs increase. She drew in a deep breath and closed her eyes.

A moment later she felt something running over her skin so gently that she wasn't sure if it was Regina's hand, or something else. She sucked in her breath as the brunette pressed down a little more firmly, and she could feel her hand moving over her skin, just stroking her cheek, before she tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. She let her head fall back against the door, and shuddered with the release of a heavy breath.

"Tell me you want this, Emma.." Regina breathed against her ear, pressing her body ever so slightly against the blonde's. Emma groaned and arched her back, begging for more. The brunette's hand slid over her ass and to the buckle of her jeans. Her breath came out in ragged little pants, and Regina's body moved so sensually against hers, that she felt her own juices flowing out, further soaking her already damp panties.

Then as if suddenly sobered, her eyes flew wide open. "Are you… sure about this?" she rasped out. Her emerald gaze searched the brunette's and what she saw in them caused her to momentarily forget how to speak. Raw vulnerability. Emma swallowed over the knot in her throat that the look in her eyes had just caused to form. "Doesn't it scare you- just a little?"

Regina looked down and pursed her lips. Emma noticed the small vein that faintly popped on her forehead, and wished she knew what the brunette was thinking. She held her breath as Regina slowly looked up at her again, her dark eyes slightly glassy. She could tell by the stiffness of her body that she felt uncomfortable. She wanted to take her words back; she didn't want to make the brunette feel what she was feeling.

"I don't want to waste any more time, Emma." she whispered quietly. Her cheeks were rosy, and her eyes bore into the blonde's with a soft sadness. But there was something else in her gaze as well. Something that looked an awful lot like hope. "I'm going after the things I want. The things that make me happy. This is a new thing for me, Emma. Feeling this way.."

She placed her left hand lightly against her own chest, and forced a soft smile onto her face. "If my time with Robin taught me anything, it's that nothing is permanent. Everything and everyone you know can be taken from you at any moment. And I don't want to waste any more time waiting around for what I need in my life."

She paused for a moment, seeming to weigh her next words carefully, and once again the little vein in her forehead dominated her whole stunning features with a thoughtful expression. Emma bit her lip and watched the brunette, waiting for her to continue.

"To this day, I wish I could've spent more time with him. We've wasted so many years that we could have spent together; time that we will never get back. We could have been happy together. But our time ran out. Memories are all I have left now and the strongest memory is how magical and lovely he made me feel." Regina smiled, and it was the most heartbreakingly sad smile she'd ever seen. Emma ached to reach out and comfort her, but she wasn't sure how- or if the brunette would welcome it. She tentatively took her hand and squeezed just in case. Regina pulled in a deep breath and gave her a grateful look.

She cleared her throat and continued, "I don't want to make the same mistake again. I'm just so tired of waiting for things to happen.. I'm done with safe, Emma. I'm done being someone else's puppet. I'm done waiting for life to come and tell me what to do. I want.. " Her words died in her throat and she shuddered visibly, her eyes unwittingly betraying her, shocked at her own thoughts.

The brunette's eyes held such desperate desire, such yearning, that it took Emma's breath away. She felt lost in them. She suddenly felt like she was being entranced. She couldn't take her eyes away from those beautiful dark pools in front of her. She could not move. If the brunette moved an inch closer to her, she would surely feel her heart pounding wildly against the sides of her ribs.

Regina drew a deep breath and took both Emma's hands in hers, her eyes intense and serious. "I know the timing is bad, and I really shouldn't be saying this for so many reasons.. But I.. I don't think I can hold out much longer on not having you completely. I want you, Emma.. I _need_ you. I always have." she finished with a sincerity and vulnerability Emma hadn't seen in her deep brown eyes before.

Emma felt the impact of the brunette's words deep in her heart. Even though she was freaking out, she never felt more alive, more like dancing on the rooftops, more like doing all the foolish and nonsensical things she had never done before. She felt like she could finally release that breath she had been holding. Color glowed in her cheeks and a smile blossomed. She bit her lip and blinked up at Regina from under her lashes.

The brunette returned her smile, but she still looked kind of nervous. "If you don't feel the same way, or if too much has happened, I will understand. There won't be any hard feelings. But I need to know.. I need to know if you feel the same way. I need to know if there's any chance for us.."

Emma gasped, unable to find her voice as they stared into each other's eyes intensely. She wanted to scream _yes_ , but she couldn't. It all seemed too real, too definitive. She felt terrified, overwhelmed, and she had no idea how to respond. She pressed her back against the door, her eyes wide, trying to determine her best action to take.

She turned her eyes from the brunette's. She was so conflicted inside. She wanted her, didn't she? For one night, or forever? She wasn't ready to make this commitment, was she? Maybe she was. If not tonight, when? Maybe she was never going to be ready to make such commitment to anyone. But she already did, didn't she? She committed herself to the wrong person.

She loved Regina, didn't she? Then why couldn't she say those few words? One thing was sure, there were more questions than answers. She could go on analyzing the situation for hours and still not arrive at a decision. "I don't know what you want me to say.." she whispered weakly, slowly letting go of the brunette's hands.

A look of hurt crossed Regina's face, and she took a small step back. "The truth.." she instantly countered, her brown gaze piercing the blonde's.

Emma's knees wobbled as she let out a shaky laugh. "The truth? I don't even know what the truth is anymore. I have no idea how I feel!" She nearly cried out the last part. Her eyes were wide and vulnerable as she watched the brunette, pleading with her to try and understand. It ripped her apart. She was angry at Regina for asking so much for her. But most of all, she was upset at herself. She felt as if there was something wrong with her, because no matter how desperately she wanted to, she just couldn't seem to really give herself- to anyone.

Regina's features softened, became almost pleading, and she touched the blonde's arm hesitantly. "Yes, you do, Emma. There is no wrong answer here.. Just be honest with me, please. Just be honest with _yourself_."

A choked sound escaped Emma's lips, and she shook her head. "How can I be honest with you when I can't even be honest with myself?" She was so tired, tired of having all the responsibilities in life but none of the pleasures. She wasn't sure she wanted to keep fighting. Part of her wanted to give up- _give in_ to her desires. Right now she wanted nothing more than to bury herself in the brunette's arms, to feel the warmth of her body pressed close to hers. She wanted and needed her softness around her more than ever. She craved her touch, her scent, her taste.

Regina nodded her head once and gave a silent sigh. "It's okay. You're not ready to talk about this.. I'm sorry.." she murmured, her head drooping downward, and her hand falling from the blonde's arm at the same time. She sounded so unlike herself- quiet, subdued, on the verge of tears.

Emma's breath hitched and she stared at the brunette with wide eyes, as if she'd slapped her. Regina looked so defeated, so pained. Her jaw clenched, her head pounding with a need that wracked her body. And she was standing here pressed against the damned door letting her give up on her. Hell, she had _never_ let the brunette give up, she realized. She had pushed her away with one hand, pulled her back with the other, and tortured them both with the arousal she fired in her blood.

 _She was giving up on her._ She had heard it in her voice, seen it in her eyes, and that affected her more than she would have ever guessed. Affected her, hell. She couldn't do it! She couldn't lose her. "No! No, Regina, don't do that! Please! You're not supposed to let me off the hook so easily!"

Regina's startled brown eyes snapped up to hers, and something flickered inside her, akin to a flame, growing steadier and stronger. The brunette's face was close, so close she saw something flicker in her eyes, something so intense it stole her breath. She couldn't name the emotion, she only knew it matched what was going on inside her.

"Interesting choice of words, dear." Regina breathed, before playfully rolling her eyes. Emma exhaled a shaky breath. "Regina, please.." Her lip trembled, and it was obvious she was trying to hold herself together.

As she stared at her, a soft sigh drifted from the brunette. "I'm not sure what you want from me, Emma." She paused, tilting her head slightly, but then she continued, "I don't want to push you into feelings you don't want to feel or don't feel ready for. I don't want to start something if.. if you are not fully invested. I can't do that. I just can't. That wouldn't do either of us any good. We will end up getting hurt at some time or another. I deserve better. _You_ deserve better. I think we've suffered enough for a lifetime."

Heat sizzled between them as they looked into each other's eyes. "I just.. I don't want to hold back any longer." the brunette softly added.

Emma's breath caught and she swallowed hard. Regina held her gaze intensely, and Emma felt something shift and awaken deep inside her. Something breathed to life, some fire ignited, burning hot and low inside her that she'd never felt before. It was invigorating and she felt the last shreds of her resistance slip away. The brunette was staring at her as though she wanted to devour her, as if she was the only person in the world she was thinking about, and that look gave her confidence.

"Then don't.." she breathed, reaching out to touch the woman's cheek. She heard her breath hitch and suppressed a shiver. "I think that's exactly what I need right now. I need you, Regina, I need your help. I want to be free with you. I don't want to be afraid all the time. I need you to push me, to push my boundaries and take me to places only you can take me."

Emma felt herself holding her breath as she leaned in and pressed a slow, gentle kiss on the brunette's forehead. And as she lingered with her lips against her skin, she cupped the back of Regina's neck, and threaded her hand into her silky hair. She felt the brunette's fingers curling around the thin material of her shirt, urging her closer.

Emma pulled back a little, and rested her forehead against Regina's. Her eyes fluttered closed and her lips curved in a smile. She pushed closer to the brunette, feeling the warmth of her body against her own, a shiver of excitement running down her spine. She sighed and opened her eyes to see Regina watching her, noting how her pupils had dilated so that her eyes were almost completely black. The sexual tension shimmering between them was so acute she could almost taste it. She felt the tremor that ran through the brunette and her body tightened in response as anticipation licked hot and hungry through her veins.

She knew she shouldn't feel like this- as if her body was a tightly coiled spring, thrumming with need. But she did, and she loved every second of it. She had no idea that she would be more turned on than she could ever remember by the woman's petite but delightful curvaceous figure.

"God, Regina.." she murmured as she cradled her cheek in her hand, and brushed their noses together. She eased back slightly so she could look at her, silently checking if she was okay. Barely two inches separated their faces; Regina's chest lifted in a heavy sigh, her breath ghosting over the blonde's lips as she exhaled. Between the thick black lashes that framed them, her eyes were glowing like fire. She smiled so beautifully Emma nearly came on the spot.

She gasped as the brunette's grip tightened on her shirt, pushing her hips against hers as waves of pleasure broke over her. She inhaled a shaky breath and licked her dry lips. Her hand curled around the nape of Regina's neck and she leaned in closer. She traced her thumb over the woman's full bottom lip in a tender caress. She knew what the brunette wanted. She wanted it, too. She was mesmerized by the woman in front of her, caught in a web of sensation that she could not escape. Her heart was pounding so wildly, she knew Regina must feel it, and the thought somehow exited her even more.

So gently, she brushed her lips against the brunette's. She almost groaned with pent-up release. Heat travelled from her mouth to her toes, awakening her body from the inside. She held her mouth there, as if breathing her in, before she pulled away just enough that the brunette's lips followed ever so briefly. Emma smiled and buried her fingers in the woman's dark, thick hair.

Regina moaned softly as the blonde captured her mouth again, parting her lips willingly. Emma sucked her bottom lip between her own, then released it. She'd never known, never dreamed, that intimacy could be like this. She moved the tip of her tongue caressing the brunette's bottom lip teasingly. Regina opened her mouth to her eagerly. Emma felt her quiver with delight as her tongue entered her mouth. She welcomed her. Their tongues mated in such a way that it tempted her- tempted her need, the ache within. Her heart shuddered and she felt as if she would explode. A whimper escaped from her lips

Her hands moved to the small over her back, pulling the brunette close. Instead of pulling away she pressed herself even closer, provoking her desire. She wanted to touch her warm bare flesh everywhere with her hands, her lips, her tongue. She wanted to watch her back arch, to feel her body tremble, to smell the sweat glisten from her naked body. She wanted.. oh the things she wanted..

She moaned against Regina's lips, trying to get closer, trying to soak up every thrilling touch. Her nipples jumped to attention, her breathing becoming ragged as she deepened the kiss even further, without thought to proper behavior or future consequences. She wanted this. She _needed_ this.

* * *

 _Please let me know what you think :)_

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

**Part Sixteen**

 _Thank you so much for all your reviews, follows and favorites. They make my day, so thank you! Enjoy today's chapter and I hope you'll like it._

* * *

 _Twenty minutes later_

Emma's heart was pounding all the way up to her ears as they walked through one of the many hallways, long deserted now. Her fingers clutched the brunette's, squeezing so tightly she could feel the slick between their joined palms seal them unbreakably. Her skin felt as though it was stretched too thinly over her frame; every cell was alive and tingly with anticipation. Her lips were still burning from the power of their kiss and her body was trembling so badly she began to wonder if now was going to be the moment that she sank into a faint. Thankfully, it didn't happen. Instead she managed to keep her feet moving; although it wasn't like walking, it was more like floating.

They glanced at each other every so often, exchanging looks of longing and anticipation. Their eyes beamed bright, their cheeks were flushed, and they were walking as close together as possible. They stole a few more kisses along the way and, for once in their lives, they were living in the moment, with no thoughts of the past or future, only the present and they finally allowed themselves to take the next step.

There were muffled whispers and giggles as they slipped into a charming room filled with ferns and a huge hot tub. Emma's eyes traveled around space, taking in every detail. The deep brown marble on the floor contrasted with the bright green ferns and the pale off-white of the tile on the wall. The only source of light came from a dimly-lighted, expensive-looking chandelier. The air was thick and hot, and the water in the tub suddenly looked so inviting. She inhaled the deep, smoky, woody aroma, and delicious shivers coursed down her spine. It felt… magical, somehow.

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" she whispered quietly, her emerald eyes darting toward the exit. "It's well-passed closing time." She felt a million things at once- nervous, excited, scared, aroused. Butterflies took off in her stomach at the mere thought of what was about to happen.

She almost pinched herself to be sure she wasn't dreaming, although she'd dreamed of this moment many times, perhaps not in this way, she had no idea what to expect. How would it feel to make love to her? She'd hardly touched the brunette at all. She wanted to. She wanted to explore her magnificent body, every curve, every supple contour. She wanted to slide her hands down her breasts, dance her fingers over her olive skin, kiss the dark nubs of her nipples, make her feel what she'd made her feel. She wanted to trace her ribs, her collarbones, her shoulder blades, the ridge of her hipbones. She wanted to slide her fingers into her sweet, slick heat.

She closed her eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. Her knees were buckling, and she knew she was blushing. Regina chuckled and stepped closer, bringing her hand to the collar of the blonde's robe. She trailed her fingers over the fabric before she clutched the front of her robe to pull her closer.

"Live a little, _Miss Swan_ ," she purred seductively. She slid her fingers under Emma's chin and tipped her face upwards. Their eyes met and held, locked in a heated gaze. "We could use some privacy, don't you think?" Her voice, her whole manner, was pure sex. She teased the blonde by brushing their lips together, then pulled back before Emma could deepen the kiss.

Inhaling a sharp breath, Emma pouted for only a second before she regained her composure again. She loved the intimate teasing and playfulness that had developed between them. She loved the way Regina made her feel, pushing her higher and faster, boosting her self-confidence to new levels. Gone were the scrunched shoulders, the hanging head, the little girl hiding in the shadows. She had opened up a magical new world to her eyes, and she had found a new version of herself, a new appreciation for who she was.

Feeling bold, brazen and downright hot, she held the brunette's gaze while removing her robe and tossing it on the floor. She heard the woman's sharp intake of breath and smirked at the look on her face. Her dark brown eyes were wide and blazing with lust. Her hot gaze strayed to her nearly exposed cleavage and when she raised her eyes again they carried so much heat Emma felt burned.

She wore a very small, very thin red bikini that didn't leave much to imagination. She was playing with fire and damn it, she loved it. Her breasts felt heavy and she knew, without having to look down, that her hardened nipples were clearly visible though the thin fabric of her bikini. She pulled her hair up into a sexy bun atop her head, with just enough hair escaping to look wild. Regina's eyes swept over her, leaving a trail of tingling anticipation prickling over her skin. She deliberately slowed her movements, teasing and tantalizing until she couldn't bear it longer.

With a deep breath of pent-up excitement she put her foot on the first rung of the ladder, before slowly climbing into the tub. Easing herself into the water, Emma gasped. She closed her eyes, allowing the water to envelop her entire body, to soak her bikini bottoms, but it did nothing to cool the throbbing between her thighs. She could feel the tension humming through her body, which was already slick with sweat as well as the water that lapped against her naked skin.

She looked down at herself. The sight of her own full breasts, jiggling slightly with the trembling of her body and the rapid rate of her breathing, startled her. Her nipples were jutting forward through the fabric of her top, taut and throbbing with need for the brunette's attention, and even looking at them herself seemed to make them ache even more. The wild need was unlike anything she'd ever experienced before.

She licked her dry lips and looked up at the brunette, one brow raised in silent question. Regina seemed to shake herself, and a myriad of emotions flickered over her face. She cleared her throat and took a deep, ragged breath, brushing her hand through her dark hair. Emma grinned, and her heart fluttered in recognition. She was amazed that she affected the brunette so much. That she had that much power. It was a heady feeling but a serious one, too, because she knew all about the abuse of power.

They stared at each other for a moment before a slow, seductive smile crept over Regina's face, her eyes suddenly sparkling mischievously. Her mouth curved, that smile so sexy Emma could barely breathe. She watched the brunette transfixed, her heart hammering inside her chest. The temperature of the room seemed to rise even higher. Their eyes were smoldering embers, though they changed hue, as if every breath they took stoked the fire inside themselves.

Regina shifted, letting her white robe drop onto her arm, then repeating the action on the other side. She moved sensually, revealing herself to the blonde, as the garment fell to the floor around her feet. Emma's lips parted in a gasp of admiration, and for a brief and beautiful moment she stared with shameless desire at the woman's almost nakedness.

Her emerald eyes wandered up and down her body, devouring every inch of her. If all the tension between them hadn't made her wet, the sight of the brunette's glorious body sure as hell did. Her delicate, slim figure with beautiful curves and smooth olive skin. Her breasts were perfectly shaped mounds, the perfect size, and her flat stomach went perfectly with her small waist and rounded hips. Emma's mouth watered at the sight of her ridiculously sexy black bikini, and the smolder in her deep brown eyes as she grinned was almost enough to make her moan.

Regina batted her lashes and her movements were slow and dreamlike as she stood and went to the blonde. Emma swallowed hard, completely mesmerized and awestruck, she watched every movement the brunette made. Never had any woman- or man- looked more beautiful, so stunning, so blood-thickening gorgeous. She held her breath as Regina climbed into the tub, stepping towards her with deliberate slowness, the hot water sloshing around her body.

Their eyes remained glued, and did not blink while looking longingly at each other. The way the brunette stared at her made Emma nervous, but not in an uncomfortable way. It was the type of nervousness that intensified the nerve endings in her body and made her even more aware of the woman's presence. She swallowed thickly when the brunette stopped mere inches from her, their noses almost touching. She could have sworn she heard the buzz of the electricity pulse between them.

Holding her captive with nothing more than her eyes, Regina tucked her fingers in the waistband of her red bikini bottoms and pulled her closer. Emma was left gasping by the heart-thudding sexiness of the move. Their lips were slightly parted and almost touching now, breathing the same air. Their breaths came in heavy pants, and she could feel the brunette's body shaking slightly against hers. She smoothed her hands down the woman's sides before cupping her hips. She closed her eyes, enjoying the mingling sensations of the water and her lover against her skin.

Suddenly, Regina's hands curved up and over her breasts, and a shuddering sigh escaped her. Goosebumps broke out all over her skin. It was nearly too much, making her suck in her breath instinctively at the woman's touch. She felt the heat of her penetrate through her skin and fill her breasts, her nipples instantly stiffening to a nearly painful hardness.

She both longed for, and dreaded the brunette's touch on her breasts. She was so sensitive that just the air passing over her erect nipples sent a stinging and exhilarating pulse of pleasure directly down her stomach and into her quickly warming sex. It was a strange mix of sexual pleasure and satiation, as if her very touch could arouse her and feed her at the same time. She was getting so wet that she could feel the moisture trickling down from between her thighs as she pressed them together. Her hips were already starting to move and thrust against her will in excitement.

She pulled the brunette closer and their lips met in a slow, and deep kiss. She was breathing rapidly, and every gasping breath renewed her awareness of the woman's hands on her breasts- of the glorious pleasure she was giving her. Plunging her fingers through her dark hair she arched her body to get closer to her.

Her lungs struggled for oxygen. Heat swirled through her, settling itself low in her stomach, tightening the muscles a few inches below. She squirmed against the brunette, desperate to feel her skin against hers. Her fingers settled at the nape of Regina's neck, tilting the angle of her head to deepen the contact between them. Their tongues twined and danced, hot licks, devouring one another, feeding on each other's passion.

Regina slipped her right hand between their bodies, and cupped her sex as if she knew the ache was almost too much to bear. Emma bucked against her possessive touch and let out a shuddering breath. She stopped breathing all together when the brunette pressed down just hard enough to make her clit ache with desire. Fire raced through her veins, licked over skin, leaped off her in waves, and she heard the endless ripple and slosh of the water surrounding them.

She needed more, so much more. It was so strong, she had to part her legs and, in tune with her, the brunette slipped her thigh between hers, until it was tucked against her center. Her hips jerked against Regina's thigh and she whimpered in delight. The pressure assuaged her need.. but just a little. Desire was growing almost faster than she could control it. They moved together, grinding their hips in perfect rhythm.

Regina leaned back a little, far enough to meet the blonde's eyes. "Touch me, Emma." she breathed, "Put your hands on me."

Emma needed no further encouragement, and in an instant, her hands found the brunette's breasts and cupped them. They both moaned at the sensation. She explored her still covered mounds, feeling her nipples harden against her palm. Closing her eyes, she memorized it, the feeling of that warm weight in her hands. Regina whimpered as she squeezed her sensitive flesh and kneaded the tip between her fingers. The friction had her heated, and shuddering within moments. Her eyes closed, the brunette arched her back, presenting her breasts, while her dark hair drifted around her shoulders.

Her breath caught when the blonde leaned down and sucked her perky nipple trough the thin garment. Emma swirled her tongue around the little bud, and the rise and fall of her chest deepened. Without lifting her mouth, she trailed kisses across the valley of her breasts and caught the other nipple in her mouth. She felt the woman's hips bucking upwards instinctively and she let her hands trail through her hair.

She ached to remove her top, she ached to taste her salty skin. She had been needy for so long, her body craving to the point that she'd nearly thrown herself at her in the hopes of ridding herself of the obsession. Now she was so close, larger than life, dominating her personal space, the scent and heat of her surrounding her. And still she wanted more. While in the brunette's arms, she felt addicted- craving her, needing her and ready to go beyond her comfort zone. After her earth shattering orgasm, she'd been inspired to reciprocate by making moves on a woman she'd never tried before.

Regina buried her face against her neck as her lips and tongue assaulted her ultra-sensitive skin. Emma moaned, and threw her head back a little, giving the brunette more space to explore her throat. Her body was trembling all over, and even though her breathing was fast, it felt as if she couldn't get enough air into her lungs. With the flat of her tongue, Regina licked a line from the base of her neck up to her pulse point, and stayed there, pressing against it as if she wanted to taste her heart.

"Are you okay?" the brunette whispered as she leaned back a little to look at her. Her eyes shining like hazel jewels. Her heart was beating so fast, it sounded as if she was having a heart attack. "Yes… yes… I'm more than okay." Emma breathed out, hypnotized by the woman's gaze. She couldn't look away.

Regina ran a finger over the blonde's rosy pink lips, all the way down to her neck. "I don't want to rush this. I don't want to rush you, Emma.." She kissed her neck gently, and then delicately licked one of her veins that were bulging out. Emma closed her eyes at the sensation and couldn't speak for a moment.

"You don't.. I want this, Regina. I want you.." she said in a breathless voice. "I want you so much."

All her thoughts and intentions slipped away as she felt the brunette's hot breath quicken against her skin. They moved together, their lips finding each other's in a kiss that had none of the gentleness of their previous kisses, none of the delicacy and none of the hesitancy. Like their magic, their passion came from somewhere deep inside where it had been building its heat, heightening its pressure until it was ready to explode.

As they searched for the connection from which they'd both held back for so long, Emma pulled the brunette through the water into her arms. Her back bumped against the tub and she sat back, pulling Regina with her so that she had to straddle her, her knees locked tight by her thighs and hips. She felt the woman's warm hands move to the nape of her neck- refusing to let her move her head away from her lips- and she couldn't help but shudder. She angled her head, delving deeper, seeking, taking what the brunette would give her. Their tongues delved and demanded, their teeth nipped and teased. But she wanted more, oh so much more.

She pulled the brunette down fully on top of her, and swallowed her moan as their body pressed together sensually. Regina never lifted her mouth from hers, following her, settling astride her hips as she sat down. Emma's hands settled on her waist, positioning her, as she slowly thrust her hips into the brunette's and again. Regina gasped then sighed as she pulled the blonde tighter against her, clawing her back.

Emma was in absolute ecstasy as their bodies writhed together; the barrier between them broke at last, and she wanted nothing more than for the final barrier between them to be gone. The enticing sensation of the woman's skin on hers was maddening, feeling hard nipples through the thin fabric of her bikini top gracing against hers made every single tiny hair on her body stand on end.

Emma broke the kiss with a needy moan, their foreheads resting against each other's, their chests heaving as they struggled for breath, their hands roaming hungrily over each other's bodies. Their eyes connected with electric force, and Emma saw the brunette's eyes glow with shades of emotion she had never seen in them before. Her lips shivered and so did Regina's. For a moment, the world seemed to slow. They rocked against each other, a slow, sensual grind that left no doubt in Emma's mind that their love-making would be a soul-shattering experience.

With trembling fingers she brushed back a lock of dark hair that had fallen over Regina's brow while her other hand slipped underneath the waistband of her bikini bottoms. Her hand traced the curving line of her bottom then slipped up to caress a cheek. As her fingers feathered over the crease between her cheeks, she felt a fluttering and knew the brunette had just broken out in goosebumps. She was tormenting her, and Regina couldn't stop her body from responding. Building up the pleasure so slowly it was almost painful. She made soft, whimpering sounds while she moved on top of the blonde.

Emma was breathless, her heart slamming in her chest. This wasn't right, she claimed? Who was she fooling? _Nothing has ever felt more right than this._ She stared up at the brunette, dry-mouthed with reverent awe. The soft lightening and shadows sculpted her delicate features, the intensity in her stare, the trust and loyalty in her dark eyes all bespoke the woman's love for her. She knew that Regina would never let her down. This head strong woman had become _home_ to her. She understood her with a depth that needed no words.

Regina's black velvet lashes half veiled her eyes, which were glazed with longing as Emma's long fingers explored the fine lines of her collarbone. From there she traced a soft, slow line down between her breasts, brushing her fingers against the soft skin, before she cupped the mound of her covered breast. She drew in a deep, ragged breath, and sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. Emma held her gaze, while she took her nipple between her thumb and forefinger and caressed it very gently. Her other hand remained on the brunette's ass, pushing her closer.

"You are beautiful," Emma whispered. "So beautiful." The ache in her eyes was sharp and piercing as the one that coursed through her.

Regina couldn't stop herself from pushing her breast into Emma's hand. She bit her lip and whimpered the blonde's name. Emma felt her stomach tremble as her own arousal violently took over any sense of composure. She cursed as her mouth claimed the brunette's, hot, hungry, and wanting. Regina's lips opened wide to allow her tongue entry to caress hers; her arms pulled her tighter to feel her body fully against hers.

But no amount of closeness seemed to be enough. They were both feverish with desire. Emma's hands pushed up inside the brunette's bikini top, exposing her breasts to her lips, her mouth, her tongue. She didn't think it was possible for the woman's nipples to grow harder, but they did under her expert attention. She ran her thumb around one nipple while softly biting the other. It was a sensation like none she'd ever experienced and it made her so wet she had to be dripping. She could stay like this forever, pleasuring and loving the brunette. Regina's whole body shuddered above her, pressing herself harder against her lower abdomen.

She loosened the string from around her neck and removed the woman's top, licking and sucking each of her nipples. She loved the way Regina arched, giving her access; it was unbelievable how responsive she was, how sexy.. The brunette gripped her shoulders, her nails digging into her muscles. She hissed in half pain, half arousal. With a growl she sucked the woman's nipple into her mouth, dragging her tongue back and forth across the tight tip. She smiled against her skin when a deep moan escaped the brunette's mouth.

Unable to help herself, Regina fitted closer against the blonde. They were a perfect physical match. She started to moved again, slowly forward and back again against Emma's pelvis, her breasts and hips undulating sensuously as she rubbed herself against her. She stared down at her body, enjoying the sight of Emma's pink tongue licking and sucking her breasts. She drew her lower lip slowly through her teeth, and she shuddered under the assault, her breaths now small gasps, her fingers tightly coiled in the heavy silk of the blonde's hair so she'd never leave.

Emma revelled in the warm smoothness of the brunette's body- in each quivering shock wave that rippled through her. She never wanted this moment to end, never wanted any of this to stop. She wished that she could freeze time, that she could simply stay in her arms forever. She kept doing what she was doing, finding it arousing beyond belief, simply touching her. She felt powerful and wanton and wicked, and she loved it. Damn, the brunette made her love it all, want it all, need it all, so very much. She didn't think she could go a day without touching her in some way. She shuddered, heat pooling between her thighs, desire raging out of control.

She heard the brunette's low, sexy growl and lightning flashes fired through her as her impatient hands slid under Regina's bikini bottom and tore them off, the loose knots easily giving way to her impatient hands. The brunette sucked in a sharp breath and let it out on a whimper of need.

Naked, on top of her, Emma could feel the woman's need for her clearly against her skin. The heat emanating from her body was intoxicating, driving the flames of her passion higher than she believed possible. She pressed her breasts against the brunette's, and their lips met with intensity. She wanted her so much, she ached. The raw need was so strong it drove out all her urges like modesty and restraint.

She ran her hands up Regina's legs to her inner thighs, easing them further apart. The brunette squirmed, aching for her. She caught the woman's bottom lip between her teeth, sucked lightly, then delved her tongue deep into her mouth again. Meanwhile, her stroking fingers slowly ascended her thighs, so close to the woman's dripping sex that her hands were shaking from the restraint she'd forced upon them. Restraints which now no longer existed- and it felt so incredibly liberating, and elating, she could cry.

Regina lifted herself slightly and reached down, and with just a flick of her fingers untied the knots that held the blonde's bikini bottom on. She yanked them off and as they floated down the tub to join her own bikini, she eased herself against Emma until she could get no closer. A shuddering moan slipped from her lips when the blonde shifted, the new angle opening her sex against her and rubbing her aching clit against Emma's pelvis. The warm water surged around them. Their lips still almost touching, their bodies molding together, driving them both crazy with need.

Emma's body of its own will began to rock slowly against the brunette, and then faster, moving instinctively in a mindless search for her own pleasure. She watched Regina gasp as her hands stroked up her thighs again. She could feel her quiver beneath her fingers, and leaned in to kiss her; and it was the most passionate kiss she had ever given or had received in her life. It felt like a promise, a release. The brunette kissed her as though her very life, her very survival depended on it. She kissed her as if she could never get enough of her or the taste of her.

Her trembling fingers slid along the brunette's skin until she reached the apex of her thighs and her hand stilled. As if she could read her mind, Regina lifted her hips a fraction, granting her access, and whimpered with need. Emma groaned as she dipped her finger into the brunette's heated slit, swearing under her breath at her slickness. She nearly came right then and there. She gently parted her folds and teased her with long, drawn strokes, swallowing Regina's moans in a deep sensual kiss.

Emma explored the woman's silky heat, enjoying her soft whimpers of pleasure while at the same time trying to ignore the growing ache between her own legs. The brunette wiggled closer as she stroked her clit; slow, careful strokes that quickly became frenzied as the woman bucked against her with some sort of desperate hunger.

"Oh God, Emma.." she whimpered, and her whole body seemed to shudder. She twined her arms around the blonde's neck and tilted her head back, giddy with excitement. Emma was so turned on that she couldn't stop the whimper of tormented pleasure that escaped her the moment Regina's nipples brushed against her own.

The pulsing ache between her own thighs continued to grow, and she shifted to keep her legs from shaking. It was all she could do to force herself to keep breathing as she explored the brunette's slick wetness. God, she felt so good; she was so ready for her. She pressed her lips against those beautiful breasts she couldn't wait any longer to touch again, laving her nipples with her hot tongue. Regina arched her back. She wanted more from her. So much more. Encouraged by her wanton response, she scraped her teeth over the hard nub, dragging them over the sensitive peak.

The brunette's hips rose and fell to meet her hand, urging her to stroke her. Harder, faster. The water lapped just above her waist as she moved up and down. She cried out as Emma rubbed her clit again until she was so wet and in need that one more touch would sent her over. Her cry echoed through the room, disturbed only by the sound of their panting breasts and sloshing water.

Emma felt the woman's body shudder and jerk, and tightened her free hand around Regina's waist. She slid her fingers lower and slowly teased the entrance of her sex. Despite the fact that they were in the water, she could feel the more viscous liquid of the brunette's desire. She gently dipped the tip of one finger inside her drenched heat, at the same the same time she kissed her, claiming her whimpers with her mouth sealed over hers. She didn't push it far in, just enough to remind the brunette of how empty she felt and to make her throb from wanting her to fill her.

"Emma, please.." Regina panted, clutching her shoulder. As her finger slid in a little deeper Emma realized the brunette was already on the verge of coming. She was slick with need and, by the way she moved her hips, she could tell she was extremely sensitive. Her walls clamped down on her digit, squeezing and flexing, inviting her deeper.

Moving her lips to Regina's ear, she ran her tongue along the lobe while she slowly thrust her finger in and out of her. The brunette's eyes closed, her body shaking with the desire for release. She could feel every one of those sweet, soft curves against her, and Emma knew she would never have enough of this woman. She was tight, hot, and damp, and vibrating with liquid fire.

"Regina.." Her voice was heavy with passion as she continued to move her fingers within her snug channel. The brunette pushed herself down against her hand, silently begging for more. Emma continued to stroke and tantalize her, riveted by her response. The delicious torment seemed to go on forever. She sucked the woman's earlobe into her mouth, gently caressing it with her tongue and dragging her teeth along it. "You feel so good.."

She pushed her finger knuckle deep into the woman's warmth, and then let it slide slickly out. When she pushed back in, she added another finger and Regina squealed in pleasure. Emma damn near fainted when she felt the brunette's muscles clamp tightly around her digits, drawing her even deeper inside. Regina welcomed her, trusted her to love her well, and the blonde nearly sobbed. She almost lost what was left of her self-control.

Her eyes rolled back as she sank her fingers all the way in again, but instead of staying there, sliding out again. Wanting it to last. Her digits trailing through the swollen, wet stickiness to the woman's hard clit, feeling her shudder violently. Regina whimpered at the loss of sensation.

She moved her mouth to the blonde's and whispered against her lips, "Please.. I need you, Emma.." Her expression was dark, intense. "I need you inside me."

She gripped the blonde's wrist under the water, and with her gaze focused on her, she raised herself into cooler air. Emma could only stare at the glorious sight in front of her- her beautiful breasts, heaving and tight, smooth and round and positively delicious- before Regina held her gaze, and slowly lowered herself onto her hand. Emma watched her eyes turn deep, dark black as she drove three fingers into her, deep and hard, making her cry out with the sheer pleasure of it. _Hell. Sweet hell._

The brunette pressed down against her, let out a shuddering breath as Emma pressed back, every point of contact aching with exquisite and unsated desire. She paused to let the brunette adjust to her intrusion, but Regina raised her hips and pressed down again, demanding more. Emma's mouth opened in a small, silent O.

Mesmerized, she could only stare. She'd never seen anything more beautiful in her life. And then the brunette started to move up and down, slowly riding the length of her fingers. Squeezing them hard. She felt her own juices flowing heavily. With each thrust, it felt as if she sank into her very soul, marking the woman as exclusively hers, her fingers buried deep inside her, her body melted to hers. As if nothing could ever part them.

Her skin felt tight with need. Her hands, her feet, her shoulders, her breasts, tingled with nerve endings made electric by the smooth slide of her fingers inside the woman's most private part. Each movement rolled the brunette's flesh over her fingers like a sensuous glove enveloping her in her silken warmth. The feeling so exquisite, it nearly stole the breath from her body.

She watched Regina close her eyes and her head tilted back. And god, she was fucking gorgeous and wanton, and it nearly made her come right then. _Again._ She wondered if it was possible for a person to come without being touched. Her perfect breasts jiggled before her eyes as the brunette rocked her hips against her hand, and they were close enough to be a temptation, but too far for her mouth to reach.

Regina's moans of desire echoed through the dimly lighted space. Water sloshed over the sides of the tub, but she didn't care. She just wanted to take the brunette and let her fall in ecstasy. With each shift of her body up and down onto her fingers, she felt her body lose that grounding connection with the physical as it turned as liquid as the water that pumped around them. Regina rode her like a fucking goddess, her hips rotating as she figured out exactly what she wanted. Emma just held onto her hip to keep her steady and fell in love all over again with that lush skin of hers.

Delicate hands slid up her arms, then clutched her shoulders as Emma leaned forward to latch onto her nipple. She circled the hard bud with the tip of her tongue before she sucked it into her mouth. Regina shuddered violently, her body arched like a drawn bow, and she groaned in ecstasy. Her thumb flicked at her clit, and the brunette ground down on her harder.

"Ooh.. yes, like that.. keep… touching… me," Regina moaned, her hand going to the blonde's hair and twining her fingers in it.

Emma continued to lavish attention on her breasts, stroking her clit with firm, quick movements as she rotated her hips against her hand. Regina's movements grew more and more frantic, until she was whimpering against her, and she could feel the tension building in the brunette's legs as they clenched around her. "Oh God. Oh, Emma.. I'm so close.."

The brunette was relentless as she moved her hips faster, pushing her fingers even deeper than before. Emma matched her pace as her strokes became rougher, stronger. She continued to work her nipples with her mouth, her teeth, and tongue, flicking, licking, and then sucking on the hard little tip. Regina moaned loudly and scratched her nails over the blonde's back, her hair flying around her face as she tossed her head from side to side.

The depth of her penetration and the way the brunette's walls wrapped so tightly around her fingers, made Emma's head spin with anticipation, and again her lips claimed Regina's in a searing kiss that left them both breathless. A kiss so hard and hot that there was no air between them, just a desperate need for skin on skin. The brunette's nails dug into her back, marking her as she marked her.

Suddenly, Regina's body tensed on top of her and then began to shiver, sending ripples out from her body, and her thighs felt like iron around Emma's hips, squeezing as she came so hard she lost herself. She cried out the blonde's name, almost in tears, forgetting where she was as she took in the intense feeling of the sensation that their passionate love making had caused.

Emma smiled almost proudly as she held the brunette tight and moved against her, not bothering to fight the arousal she felt. Her name had never sounded more beautiful from anyone's mouth. All the while, she kept up her movements, not content to simply let her climax. She needed to draw out every last bit of her pleasure, feeling the convulsions of Regina's body against her own. She watched the brunette in wonder, saw the emotions as they played across her face, emotions that touched her more deeply that she'd ever expected.

Finally Regina collapsed against her in exhaustion, her breath, warm and rapid against her neck. They clutched each other tightly for several moments, and although she was still burning from her own needs, all she wanted to do was sit there and hold her. She kept her arm wrapped around the woman tight, not wanting the intimacy to end, not wanting her to withdraw but she did. And Regina kissed her then with an all-encompassing tenderness that made her realize that the intimacy hadn't ended, it had only just begun.

* * *

 _Please let me know what you think :)_

TBC


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